Lovin'
by DPD
Summary: After years of ignorance, Carlisle finds out he has twins that were put up for adoption by their mother. After finding his sons, Carlisle still has to fight and prove they are really his. He has no idea what they had been through and how it all changed their lives. This story is dark and deals with a lot of taboos. It is rated M for many reasons. Don't read it if you are under 18.
1. Chapter 1

**AN**

First I want to apologise for the delay on posting chapters for **Nasty**. I haven't quit my favourite story. As many of you must know, when I first posted it, it was supposed to be a one shot that got too long, but it was complete. Then the boys kept telling me their story and I kept on writing it. What happens is that my mind is a mess. I have way too many stories in it and sometimes, some characters go silent, some start talking. Nasty has at least four more chapters and the epilogue. The good news is, only chapter 13—the last before the epilogue—isn't finished yet. Some of the chapters are already pre-read and with one of my beta readers. Yes, I need more than one *shakes head*. Once I start posting again, the updates will be regular because everything will be ready.

Now... about **"Lovin".**

"**Lovin"** was a story that popped in my head once while watching a video. As usual, the theme is something hard to be dealt with. A friend of mine joked about it, asking me where I took these stories from. I had to think to answer her question. Well, I believe while trying to understand in what circumstances someone would do something others consider taboo, my imagination runs wild and the stories pour out of me. I have some others I will only post when I'm finished with them.

I'm finished with **"Lovin".**

**Now the warning:**

This story deals with **incest between siblings**. There will be mentions **of past rape and child abuse**. If you don't wish to read about any of it, please, don't do it then. As I'm sure you will not want to waste your time reading something you don't care about. I also don't want to waste my time reading reviews that comment on how deranged the story is.

**I need to thank my Irish Sister, who betaed this story and who made me so enthusiastic about posting it**.

**Chapter 1**

CPOV

I was thirteen years old and had no idea what I was doing.

A lie.

That was just a lie—a BIG, FAT lie.

I was a horny teenager, a scrawny one, but I could hardly refrain from sticking my cock in some pussy whenever offered the chance.

Don't get me wrong, I would never do it unless the girl was willing and as horny as I was. I needed them to be as enthusiastic as me during sex.

I had a fairly big cock for my age—a fairly big cock for an adult for that matter—and older girls were always all over me, trying to get their fill of me.

Jenna was no different.

At nineteen, she never said "no" to me.

She was so beautiful! Her auburn hair, her big hazel eyes, her lithe body—so sensual.  
I really could not understand why she didn't have a steady boyfriend.

Her family was amazing, her dad was the school football coach and her mom always won the pie contest at the city annual festival.

Well, we lived in a fairly small town—tiny really—close to the border with Canada, in the State of Washington called Twisp—population 907.

Coming and going to Canada was not a problem. That was where we went when we wanted to have some fun.

But to be with Jenna, I didn't have to go further then crossing my own front lawn—we were neighbours.

Her parents never thought I posed as a threat. I was the neighbours' kid, too young to make any damage.

Jenna was my favourite fuck. Besides being beautiful, she was sweet and had an incredible sense of humour. And in bed… she was just smouldering. She was always my first option when it came to fucking.

Too bad she was as hot for me as I was for her.

I couldn't really point out the countless times we ended up fucking without a condom. Our town had a single drug store. Condoms were not sold at the local supermarket.

We needed to go out of town to buy them unnoticed and sometimes we just… ran out.

One day Jenna simply vanished. Her mom said she went to live with an aunt in Seattle. The reason? Better schools and a more exciting life.

I was hurt.

I thought what we had was special. It was just sex, but good sex nonetheless.

**-LOVIN-**

Walking the streets of Seattle, years after having my heart broken by my sex-buddy, having decided to attend the UW, I saw her across the street, a few yards ahead of me.

I ran. I ran not really thinking what I was doing or what I would tell her once I'd reached her. I almost got myself run over by cars on the street as I crossed it, not really paying attention to traffic.

Jenna looked good. She seemed to be more mature and her eyes looked wiser. After a few minutes of conversation, I found out Jenna was married, was expecting a child, and was very happy with her life.  
We exchanged phone numbers and addresses, but I never expected her to really ever call me.

**-LOVIN-**

That morning things went from cheerful to tense between us once her voice changed on the phone,

"Carl… There's something I wanna tell you. Something important."

"Sure. Let's meet up for coffee and you can—"

"No," she interrupted me, "I wanna do it over the phone. I really don't have the courage to tell you this, looking you in the eye."

Shit.

My mind reeled with a thousand catastrophic possibilities.

"Okay, go on."

I held my breath preparing for whatever she was about to say.

I could have never been prepared for what she had to tell me, though.

"I didn't leave town to come to a better school as my parents said. I came over so I could have the child I was expecting." Her voice was trembling and I thought that maybe I had heard wrong.

"I'm sorry, what? What did you say?" I could have only heard wrong.

"I got pregnant, Carlisle. I got pregnant of your … well. I came down here to have the babies and put them up for adoption." Her voice turned from weak to determined and cold.

"Jenna! Jesus! Why didn't you tell me anything? How come didn't you come to me before deciding everything on your own?" I screamed at the phone.

"You were thirteen Carlisle! What could you have done? My parents didn't want to have to raise any more children. I was nineteen years old! I had a whole life to live! There was no other way out of it!"

"I can't believe it Jenna… I just can't. You gave away my babies and you never even bothered telling me you were pregnant!" I was revolted, mad as Hell at her!

"Well… now you know. Don't go looking for them. They must be with a nice family, happy, oblivious to the fact that their dad was just out of his diaper when he had gotten their mom pregnant."

That stung.

I had no idea how she could be happy, married and pregnant, never regretting her decision to give away her first born children.  
It didn't matter.

All that mattered was I wanted to find them.

All she told me was that they were boys.

I couldn't live with myself knowing I had two sons somewhere that I hadn't even met.  
I would find them. I would meet them, even if I had to hide who I was. I just needed to touch their skin and know they had a good life, know they were provided for.

When Jenna told me about them they were probably five years old by my counts, which made them fifteen by the time I finally had the first news about their probable location.

Who would have known it would take so long for me to find them. I spent years and loads of money on lawyers and private eyes, having too little information to work with.

Jenna didn't want me to find them. She refused giving us any information about the boys and said that if I insisted on starting a law suit demanding her to give me such information, she would just say they were not my children since I couldn't prove otherwise.

When we finally located them, I could hardly contain my revulsion―they had never been adopted—it was hard to find parents who would take twins, according to the institution's director. The ones willing to do it ended up bringing them back because it was just too much work.

Anthony and Edward were raised in a home for orphans almost their whole lives. It broke my heart to watch them from afar.

I had been searching for them for over ten years and they had been there the whole time—or so I thought.

They both had the same auburn hair their mother did, but their greenish blue eyes were mine. They were beautiful. They didn't resemble me at all—they were all Jenna. They were as tall as Jenna's brothers and father, and had the same slender constitution their mother had.

At first, I thought it would be fairly easy, after finding where they were, to just bring them home to live with me. I was thirty years old, almost finishing my surgical residency, completely capable of keeping a house and providing for my teenage sons.

But the process of fighting the state to prove I was their father was harder than I expected. Until I could prove they were mine, I wasn't allowed to have any contact with my boys―the whole too-long-lasting process, and the lack of permission to take the DNA tests were driving me insane.

They also wouldn't grant me access to their medical history or the files the social workers had with their history.

All I was allowed to do was to watch them from a distance as if I were someone who decided to visit the kids at the home.

Being a doctor made it easy for me to come there as many times as I wanted, having offered to check on the institution children for free.

The boys were a unit―always together, quiet, talking mainly to each other. They never approached me or tried to engage in conversation like the other kids would do.

The first opportunity I had to have any interaction with Anthony and Edward was when Edward fell ill and I was called in the middle of the night to see him.

I've always known twins held a connection that could never be found between regular siblings. But the intensity of their interaction had me worried.

Anthony was frantic. I didn't know who I tended to first. Edward unconscious, had a high fever and was hallucinating, lay on his bed. Anthony would not leave his side, or even let go of his hand, caressing his hair the whole time; his eyes red and flooding with unstoppable tears welling down his cheeks.

Anthony's desperation was heart wrenching. He whispered words like "Don't leave me", or "You're all I got" into Edward's ear the whole time I was examining Edward.

"Anthony, can you tell me if Edward had any other symptoms before the fever?" I asked him since Edward couldn't answer.

That question made Anthony change his demeanour completely. Letting go of Edward's hand and pursing his lips, he sniffed. When he found his voice and finally replied, he sounded guilty, as if confessing a crime. "He said… he said that it hurt when he peed."

"For how long?" I continued.

"Three days… maybe four." Anthony was way too self conscious and I couldn't find a reason why.

Edward probably had UTI—Urinary Tract Infection.

I needed Edward awake; I had to get a urine sample so as to prescribe the correct antibiotics. We needed to get the fever down so he would recover consciousness and I could ask him for the sample.

After slipping some pills into his mouth, we stripped him down to his boxers so his body would cool off, and waited.

Anthony, too wrapped up in his own fear of losing his brother, seemed to have forgotten I was still in the room with them. Their caretaker, Olivia, was out taking a look around to see if we had awakened any of the other children.

Anthony's hands were all over Edward. He caressed his brother's body tenderly, quietly, murmuring words into his ear, sometimes even brushing his lips on Edward's skin.

What would they think when they found out they were not alone in the world anymore? How would they feel to have me and Esme, my fiancée, in their lives too?

After almost an hour, the medication kicked in and Edward finally woke up; soon he needed to pee. I took the vial to collect his urine sample and helped him to the bathroom.  
Anthony was always by him. As I steadied Edward up, Anthony held his penis and the vial so he could pee in it.

I called the analysis laboratory to send me someone to come pick the sample up, and when I went back to their bedroom, Edward was unconscious again. I tried taking his temperature with the digital temple thermometer but it wouldn't show the same temperature twice—according to it, Edward didn't even have a fever.

I needed to make sure what was going on with my boy. If he had no fever, there was something worse than a UTI going on with him for him to lose consciousness.

"Anthony, would you excuse me? I need to take Edward's temperature." I asked; my voice soft, hoping he would just hear me out and leave me alone with Edward without an argument.

I had no such luck.

"Why do I have to leave? Why can't I just stay here?" His eyes were pleading and I had to act professionally—he didn't know I was his father.

"I'll have to take a rectal temperature. I need to know what is causing Edward to lose consciousness. If he isn't running a really high fever, we need to take him to a hospital. The only way to know if he has it right now, is taking his temperature that way since the other thermometer isn't showing us anything."

"I won't leave. I can help!" Anthony said. I gave in and let him stay.

He helped me turning Edward to his side, and what I witnessed seconds later floored me.  
I took the tube of lubricant and the thermometer from my bag and Anthony offered to help, pulling the tube from my hands.

Anthony pulled Edward's pants and briefs down, parted Edward's glutes and spread lubricant around his brother's anus. He also thrust a finger inside his brother carefully, stretching him.

None of that was needed. The thermometer was really thin and Edward wouldn't feel any pain, since it would be lubricated.

The ease Anthony accessed his brother's body so intimately made me shiver to my bones. His ease to touch his brother's penis in the bathroom hadn't gone unnoticed either, and putting the two together, I wondered what they must have gone through to end up being so… close.

I tried not to think about it since I had more important things to tend to.

It turned out Edward's fever was back full force. I couldn't waste any time waiting for the antibiogram to be ready, and decided to admit him to the hospital for an intravenous round of antibiotics.

Anthony wasn't allowed to be with his brother at the hospital.

Before leaving with their caretaker, Anthony made me promise no one would touch his brother. I tried reasoning with him, saying nurses would have to touch him to give medication and take care of him.

"I understand, just don't… don't let anyone… take his temperature _that way_, please." He changed his voice trying to be clearer about what he was asking.

"What if we have to?" I asked him weakly, looking through my lashes, suddenly ashamed of myself, I didn't know why.

"Then… then you do it," he finished pensively.

"Okay…" I answered him.

I didn't have to mention I sat by Edward all day and night, worrying and taking all the time I could to be by his side.

Once Edward woke up, I explained to him we were at the hospital, told him about his fever, told him the way the medication would work faster was through an IV.

Edward only nodded and asked me a few questions.

When I tried taking his temperature with the regular thermometer, it didn't work again, it felt like Edward's body hid his fever somehow. I had to explain to Edward what I would have to do: that I would slide the lubed thermometer through his rectum and leave it there for a while, taking it out once it beeped. I explained it wouldn't really hurt, but that he could experience some discomfort.

Edward blushed, but other than that, his reaction was regular.

He turned to his side, and I slid the thermometer inside him—he didn't even flinch.

When pulling the thermometer out, I leaned and took a look at his anal cavity. What I saw made me concerned―he was my son after all. There was scarred tissue there, probably caused by anal fissure.

Edward moaned a little, feeling my glove-clad fingers on the sensitive skin around his anus.

"Edward, I'm sorry, but I noticed something here and I need to examine you, okay?" I tried making him feel less uncomfortable under my touch.

"Okay," he breathed out.

"I need you to stay the way you are, lay on your left,t I need you to push your knees to your chest. Can you do that?" I instructed. He nodded and did as I said.

Before starting the exam, I applied some lube around his anus, making Edward shiver at the contact of his skin with the cold gel.

"This may feel a little uncomfortable, but I'll try to be really careful, okay? I need you to relax and take a deep breath."

I saw Edward nodding his head.

I touched the flesh around his anus before penetrating it with my finger. Edward gasped, maybe not really expecting me to do that.

As I rotated my finger 360 degrees and went even deeper a few times, I could notice the scared tissue was narrowing his canal considerably. I wondered what had given him such scars. The variety of circumstances which could have given him such scars made me burn in worry.

"Edward, I'm going to withdraw my finger now, okay?" Edward nodded.

"How often do you defecate?" I tried to sound professional and unaffected by the facts, as I checked my finger for any sign of blood. I was a mess and I needed to hide it from him.

"Hmm… twice, maybe three times a week."

"Does it hurt?" I asked removing my gloves.

Edward let out a sigh before answering, "Hum, hum."

The lump in my throat muted me.

"A doctor examined me once. He taught me to use lubricant so it doesn't hurt too much." He paused, but I couldn't find my voice just yet. I was in so much pain for my son that if felt almost physical.

I suspected Edward had anal stenosis. That meant that his anal canal became abnormally narrowed by the scarred tissue from anal fissure.

I needed him to be examined by a proctologist who could also ask for a colonoscopy to check if that was all he had.

"How long ago was that?" I finally relaxed to speak.

Edward took too long to answer me. It made my heart beat faster afraid of his answer.

"I was eight."

I didn't want to jump to conclusions but the thought of rape rushed into my head and I burned in agony, fury and pain. I felt a flush creeping up my neck to my face.

Edward was not facing me and, for that, I was thankful.

I took a deep breath and tried calming my heart thinking about possible treatments.

"I'm going to call a friend of mine down here to examine you, okay Edward? To tell us what would be best to diminish your discomfort while emptying your bowls."

Edward nodded but shifted uncomfortably. "Will he touch me, too?"

"I'm sorry Edward, but she will." Maybe knowing it was a woman, Edward would feel more comfortable.

I called Doctor Alice Brandon down to the E.R. to take a look at Edward.

My head was swimming in a haze of thoughts, feelings and unpleasant ideas, I felt like I was drowning.

Alice was one of my supervisors. She was not just that, really. She was also a friend who knew I had finally found my kids and was fighting to have them under my care as soon as possible.

I waited for her by the elevators, since she promised me to be down at the E.R in a few minutes.

As we walked together to the curtain Edward was behind, I let her know he was one of my kids, making sure she knew Edward wasn't aware of that fact yet.

I told her about my worries but she made me promise I wouldn't only consider rape as a reason for the fissure and consequent stenosis.

It broke my heart to have to wake Edward up once we were at his side―Dr. Brandon was already getting out of her way to come see him.

Again he had to pull his knees up against his chest and endure the petite doctor examining him.

"Edward, I don't think you'll need surgery to correct this," Dr. Brandon commented removing her gloves, "I think a dilator will do the trick."

She looked Edward in the eyes and I caught her glancing back at me―maybe looking for some resemblance.

Dr. Brandon explained how Edward should start the treatment with the dilator and I could see how hard it was for him to cope with the awkwardness of discussing the matter.

The dilator was supposed to be used twice a day. It should be immersed in warm water for fifteen minutes, and then covered by a layer of medicinal cream prior insertion. Once inserted slowly up to its base, it should be kept in position for three minutes and then pulled slowly out.

Edward should start treatment right away, while still in the hospital.

**-LOVIN-**

Edward was a quiet boy.

I would sit with him for the week he was there. I refused to leave his side. I asked for a leave, and having it granted was not hard since Edward was in the hospital I used to work.

I ordered the dilator prescribed by Dr. Brandon, and sat at the chair next to Edward watching him sleep.

When he woke up, he moistened his lips before asking, "Do you know about my brother? He's not used to being alone."

"I don't know how he is, Edward. I was too worried about you. How are you feeling?"

"I'd be better if I knew how Anthony is."

Walking up to him, I brushed his hair back in a carefree move and decision. Edward closed his eyes and I felt him shiver as his skin broke out in goose bumps. Edward let out a little moan and I could notice it was of pleasure.

I kept stroking his hair, caution be damned. I wasn't keeping the truth from him because I wanted to. I was doing it because I was not allowed to come clean and tell him how much I already loved him and his brother.

Edward fell asleep under my touch and I finally felt like a real father.

As he slept, I went outside and called the home to check on Anthony.

Olivia wasn't allowed to give me such information, but I could notice she was on my side and she ended up telling me Anthony was a wreck. He insisted on seeing his brother and would walk about his room non-stop.

When Edward woke up again, he asked me to go see Anthony, because he had a feeling he wasn't doing well by himself.

I wish I could be split in two: I didn't want to leave Edward, but I also needed to see Anthony.

I promised Edward that once he fell asleep again, I'd go.

After a few hours of silent company, Edward looked knackered when he asked, "Can you… can you do what you did before?"

"Are you sleepy, kiddo?" I asked him standing up, already aware of what he meant.

Edward nodded and closed his eyes as he felt my fingers brushing his hair. Soon he relaxed and fell asleep.

Arriving at the home, Olivia walked me to the boys' bedroom once more.

The other night I could hardly look around their room. This time I noticed the boys' things, pictures, clothes, carefully arranged in their small room.

Anthony jumped at me once he saw me at the door, "How is he? Is he gonna be okay? When is he coming back?"

His eyes looked haunted and his breathing was erratic.

"Calm down, okay? Would I be here if Edward was not feeling better?" I asked him, trying to soothe him with the sound of my voice. I wanted to pull him into my arms and rub his back calming him down.

I didn't have to.

Anthony held me tight with his long arms around my back, his fist grasping his forearm to pull me as close as he could.

"Ssshhhhh… It's okay, Ant… It's okay." Anthony wasn't crying, he wasn't making a scene, but I could feel how wired he was, dark circles tinted the skin around his eyes.

So it dawned on me―I was holding my son in my arms. I returned his embrace with the same force and intensity. When I felt him releasing me a little, I pulled Anthony to his bed.  
"Lie down, Anthony. You need to rest. We can't afford to let you get sick right now." I mentioned.

Anthony lay down with his head on his pillow and I sat beside it, tentatively caressing his hair as I did with Edward. Soon Anthony's head was on my lap.

"I was afraid Edward had meningitis. A boy went to the hospital with that and never came back once," Anthony informed me.

"He has Urinary Tract Infection, Anthony, not meningitis. He'll come back safe and sound, okay?"

"Okay…" he said.

Since Anthony started conversing with me, I decided to ask my own questions. I tried sounding nonchalantly.

"Anthony, can you tell me what happened with Edward when you guys were little? Has he been in an accident or something?"

"Not that I remember… why?"

"Edward has a condition. He has a hard time going to the bathroom, right?" I felt Anthony tensing a little.

"You mean his ass is hurt?" he asked.

"Not really. His anus was hurt somehow in the past, and the scar is what makes it hard for him to go."

Anthony pulled back and sat with his arms around his legs, leaning his head on his knees.

"Hmm… Papa said it was an accident, whenever it happened," Anthony answered.

"Papa?" I enquired.

"Edward and I were almost adopted once. Maman was from Canada, Papa was from Monaco. I love him so much…" Anthony commented, trailing off.

"And what happened that your Papa said it was an accident?" My heart was racing and I could hardly keep it in its cage.

"Sometimes it bled… he was so sorry… he apologized, took care of us and took us to have ice cream or something else we chose."

Anthony seemed infantile. A sixteen year old would have snapped out of the spell cast on him by anyone who would have abused him. His demeanour was not of a sixteen year old at all.

"Tell me," I murmured.

"They say Papa raped us. But he never did, you know," he started, "Papa loved us. We were the ones to ask him to love on us."

I pressed my lips together, trying to keep the turmoil of feelings inside me from bursting out in a feral growl.

"Anthony, can you explain it to me a little better?" I whispered afraid to let what I was feeling show.

"Papa was very tender and caring. He always slept with us because we were always so afraid of the dark. He caressed us until we slept. He always confessed his love to us, you know. Sometimes he held us tight and kissed us. He always said that if you love someone you say it, you show them."

"Hmm…" was all I could muster.

"When we said we loved him, he asked us to show him. He had showed us how to kiss him with our lips and tongues to show him how much we loved him." Another long pause and Anthony surprisingly moved to sit on my lap and bury his face in my neck. I circled his body with my arm and moved his legs to my left.

"One night, I woke up and Papa had his hand in my boxers. It felt so good…"

Silence.

"I told him it felt good and he promised to always do that for me. He caressed my balls, and my dick… my legs… My dick grew hard…it felt like an explosion sometimes, like… when I make milk now."

Silence.

"It feels good talking to you about this…" he breathed against my shirt. My heart was the size of pebbles. I wouldn't know if I could endure much longer. I cursed Jenna for giving up on them and never telling me what she was about to do.

"Why, baby?" I murmured.

"Because you don't say what Papa did was wrong. You let me tell you and… and you don't interrupt me saying he was a monster who took advantage of us…"

"I wanna listen to you. I won't say anything mean about Papa, I promise," I spoke rubbing circles on Anthony's back.

I could see Anthony had some sort of developmental issue.

"Papa and Maman showed their love different. Edward and I would watch them. Papa entered Maman's body with his penis. We liked watching. My penis got hard when I watched them. One day we asked him how come he never loved us like that and he said only when we were older he could do it."

"Really? Older?"

"Yeah… he said we squirmed too much and he was afraid to hurt us. So we promised we would stand really still for him to love on us like he loved on Maman."

I felt sick.

I understood Anthony's mental development delay would cause him to really believe his adopted father. But Edward?

"Did Edward want Papa to love on him like that too?"

"Yes, very much… Papa tried once but his penis didn't fit in Edward. So he knelt between his legs and put Edward's cock and balls in his mouth. So he loved on Edward with his fingers"

"Anthony… Aren't you tired?" I had to interrupt. I couldn't listen any more.

It was not that I didn't want to know what happened with my sons, but listening to Anthony describing everything so innocently as he did was way past daunting.

Anthony hummed his confirmation.

He lay next to me and I caressed his hair until he fell asleep. I watched him sleep for a while, thinking so much could have been avoided if I had found them sooner or if Jenna hadn't been so stupid and had told me about her pregnancy.

My parents would never have abandoned their grandchildren like that.

I was an only son and they had always wanted more children, but mom had her uterus removed due to varicose veins that enlarged her organ, causing her to bleed excessively during her period to the point of extreme anaemia.

I'm sure they would have been more than happy to help me raise my sons.

Leaving a note to Anthony―letting him know I'd be back the next day―I left him while he was still asleep.

It was amazing how much I already loved both of them. It felt like my whole body knew they were mine and craved proximity.

On my way out, I took advantage of the fondness Olivia had started having for me. As she walked me out, I dug for information about my sons' abusive adoptive father.

"I need to know, Olivia, please. You know they're mine and if they're not, I'm gonna adopt them anyway," I let her know. "Anthony held me today and all I wanted was to have him in

my arms forever, to protect him, to care for him. Olivia, I need to know!"

"Okay…" She gave in. Pulling a lot of air in, she started, "Jean Claude, was not really the adoptive father―his wife was their legal guardian. She was the one who was to adopt them. She lived with Jean Claude who eventually posed as the father, but his name was never on the papers.

"Jean Claude didn't look like a bad man, you know. I was here when they started coming for the visits and eventually took the boys home for the weekend. When they could finally take the boys home, Tania had been exhausted because of their little girl."

"They had a child?" I was surprised. Anthony had never mentioned another child.

"Yes, a little girl. The boys had accompanied her whole pregnancy. They went to visit her in the hospital; they were excited to be around the baby." She paused. Her olive green eyes were contemplative, taking in the beautiful view of the surroundings of the front yard.  
"They really seemed to make an incredible family. One would never imagine what really happened in their house." Olivia seemed to need some time to recuperate from the unpleasant feelings that remembering their story had caused her.

"The whole process started when they were five, but they only went to their house two years later. Edward and Anthony had been rejected so many times we had to be careful. We don't know how long it took for Jean Claude to get… physical with them. They were young and couldn't point that out. We only found out about it, because Tania found out he was sort of touching the baby girl too. She freaked out, called the police and had him arrested.

"The boys were devastated. Tania had to be admitted to a clinic and her mother came over to be with the baby. The boys were brought back by the State of Washington. Only when the psychologists were called to help with the boys, we found out he also touched them."

"Anthony told me, you know… I mean... what happened." I sighed, completely forlorn.

"Why?" she asked intrigued.

"Edward has scars. I asked and he told me almost everything," I said stopping at my car door. I was exhausted of being angry, hurt. "Anthony is different. He doesn't seem to have developed beyond his eight or nine years of age."

"I know. He's very affectionate and protective of Edward. I'm not a specialist, but I've lived with the boys since they were two, when I started working here. Anthony was never like Edward. He was always more childish and everything happened later in terms of development; his speech, learning to read and write. He's really good at maths, though. He's incredible at that."

"So… it wasn't the trauma." I commented.

"Only if by trauma you mean Jean Claude vanishing from his life. He still thinks all he did was out of love. And you know what? Even in his twisted way, the man really loved them. He writes to them until today. We never give them the letters, never gave any of them to the boys. We burn them so they'll never know they ever existed. But I opened and read them first. He promises he'll send them tickets to bring them to Monaco, saying he'll never forget them and will always love them. He sends them gifts and many pictures of him and his daughter."

My stomach churned. I didn't want to know what might be happening between him and his daughter.

"He has been deported from the United States for some other reason I don't know. But he has been reported as a child molester so he'll never get to come back. The immigration officers told us."

"Holy hell," was all I could muster.

"Do you really love the boys as sons already?" she turned to me to ask. I nodded, feeling my chest swell with emotion. My eyes filled with water and I had trouble speaking for a while.

Olivia held me in her arms and patted my back in sympathy.

"You should have tried to adopt them instead of trying to prove they are yours, you know. They'd be with you by now."

Olivia was a genius! How come I never thought of that?

I called my lawyer as soon as I entered the car and asked him to just fucking solve the adoption for me. I wanted my kids with me as fast as I could have them.

"How come you never thought that it would be faster to just adopt them, Lewis?" I asked almost outraged.

"I thought you wanted to know if they are yours first, Carlisle." Remembering now, I really did want that.

"I don't care anymore. How fast can you work the adoption papers and all?" I asked hurriedly.

"They are teenagers. It'll probably be fast," Lewis mused.

"How fast?"

"I'll check and call you back."

**-LOVIN-**

I arrived at the hospital and before I could reach the nurse's station I went to the administration office and asked them to move Edward to a room where we could be alone and he could watch TV and not get bored to death.

Approaching him with the news of the change in location, I also showed him the dilator had arrived.

"Why are they moving me?" he enquired.

"Because I asked them to."

"Who's gonna pay for this?"

"I will."

Edward didn't ask me why, not just yet.

As we rolled him upstairs on the gurney, Edward's eyes searched for me all the way there. I helped moving him to his bed and as soon as the nurses left, he commented, "This place must cost a fortune."

I couldn't refrain from blurting out all that had been inside me. I needed them to want me otherwise there would be no adoption. I would have to wait God knows how long to have them with me, and even then, they could refuse living with me.

"Edward, I have something to tell you. Something important." I held his hand tight in mine and he held my hand too.

"I was forbidden to tell you this by law, but… I won't pretend anymore."

Edward kept his silence, only darting his tongue out to wet his lips.

"A girlfriend of mine once vanished from the small town we lived in. Six years later she said she had my kids and that she had given them up for adoption."

His eyes went wide and his lips parted a little, probably doing the math already.

"The babies are you and Anthony, and I've been fighting to prove you're mine for a while now, but the whole process has been a nightmare and it forbade me to tell you guys anything until we knew for sure."

"But… but you look too young to be our father," he mused.

"I was thirteen when I got her pregnant, Edward. She was nineteen and thought the same thing: I was too young to play the father role, so she didn't even bother telling me about it."

Silence.

"I've been looking for the two of you since you were five. Only now I found you."

"You've been coming to the home a lot," he commented.

"Yes. Yes, I have. I wanted to be close to you, to get to know you and let you know me too. I offered to work for the home so I could come over more often and see you."

Edward's eyes filled with water, mirroring mine. I knelt by the bed, leaning closer to his face as I ran my hand through his hair and went on.

"This is the first time I can really spend time with you two, after all these months."  
"We keep it to ourselves most of the time. Anthony is… slow. People tend to be mean to him, make fun of him. I hate it."

"You love him very much, don't you?"

He nodded.

"Won't you be in trouble for telling me all this?" Edward's eyes snapped opened to stare at my face.

"I've changed my strategy. I'm going to try to adopt you. It'll be faster. This has been taking too long."

Edward's hand squeezed mine as his eyes looked so hopeful my heart melted.  
"Well… first you guys need to get to know me and decide if being adopted by me is something you want."

Silent settled in and all we could hear was the faint noise from the TV.  
Edward still held my hand. Maybe that was a good sign.

"You won't want us after you know the things we have been through, Dr. Cullen." I heard

Edward mutter as he let go of my hand.

"I already know some… and it doesn't matter," I responded.

"Anthony told you?" he looked up to my face.

"He did. About your Papa." I held his hand back in mine.

"Were you mad?"

"Edward. I understand how you two, at the age of seven or eight thought what he was doing to you was connected to feelings of love. But by now, you should know it was highly inappropriate."

Edward freed his hand from mine and I tried gauging his reaction.

"It felt good and we never did anything we didn't want to. It was consensual."

"You were eight."

"It doesn't matter, we were loved. He'd do anything for us." Edward was enraged.

"Okay." I surrendered.

"If you insist on telling us what Papa did was wrong, then we won't want you to be our father, or adopt us. We'll stay at the home until we're eighteen and then go our own way. Papa loved us. And when you love someone you tell them, you show them."

"Papa's" words rolling down in a conversation for the second time that day.

"Has he ever hurt Anthony as he did you?" I asked sternly. I needed to know.

"No. Never," he spat back.

"How come?"

Edward let out a sigh, huffed, and annoyed he went on, "Anthony liked it nice and slow… I liked it fast and hard. Sometimes it hurt 'cause I wouldn't stay still." He paused for a few seconds and moved on, "I show my love for Anthony… he loves on me, too."

"I know…" I admitted.

"I won't stop loving on him, Dr. Cullen. He needs it. He needs to be touched, he needs to be reminded all the time that he's not alone and that I love him."

I only nodded.

"Once they found out we did that, they sent me away. I was in a foster home for a month. Anthony only drank water the whole time. He stopped eating, talking, and the psychologists who treated us decided I should move back in before Anthony did something stupid of fell sick."

Silence.

"He was skin and bones the day I came back."

So it had been worked on. Their relationship was known and they had tried to prevent them from having intimate contact, but even the psychologists gave up trying.

I'd have to learn to live with that.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN/ **

**Thanks for the reviews and the guts to read this! You guys made me really happy! I truly hope you keep on reading and telling me what you think!**

**Warning:**

This story deals with **incest**. There will be mentions **of past rape and child abuse**. If you don't wish to read about any of it, please, don't do it then. As I'm sure you will not want to waste your time reading something you don't care about. I also don't want to waste my time reading reviews that comment on how deranged the story is. I love it anyway!

**I need to thank my Irish Sister, who betaed this story and who made me so enthusiastic about posting it**.

* * *

**EPOV**

I had noticed the constant presence of Dr. Cullen in our home. I imagined he was there to treat the children, only. But I also noticed he lingered after the consultations.

I thought that maybe he was thinking of adopting some orphan kid from the home.

He was so handsome it made something flutter in my stomach. I felt a pull towards him I couldn't quite understand, but it was strong and it overwhelmed me whenever my eyes caught sight of him.

His dark locks of black hair turned almost blue in the sun. His white crisp coat and the stethoscope hanging around his neck made him look older, but he was young and beautiful.

His eyes were blue and full of hope and tenderness.

Every time he came by I wished I were sick so he would have to see me.

Anthony was afraid of him. Said he was no different from the doctors who took me away from him to a different home once.

I kept away from the Doc for Anthony's sake. I needed to keep him sane and protected from anything that would cause him to have a fit.

When I started feeling my penis burning while urinating and my bladder hurt, I felt shame for the first time―shame for getting sick because I fucked my own brother.

It had happened before and the doctor, who had treated me at the hospital, told me I should wear condoms to avoid that. Of course the doctor at the hospital didn't know who I was having sexual relations with. He didn't know Anthony was the only person I had contact enough to be with like that in the home.

Doctor Cullen knew it.

He observed us from a distance. He knew we were always together.

If Doctor Cullen examined me, there was a fairly big chance he would find out how I got sick.

I shouldn't be ashamed. I loved Anthony and penetrating him was a way to show him how much, to fully connect with him.

The day I woke up at the hospital, Doctor Cullen was by my side. I had only flashes of memories of the night before.

Soon he told me why I was there and what I had.

I liked being there with him.

I felt safe.

After taking my temperature "baby style", the Doc found my scar.

He told me he needed to examine me and I felt dread―he'd know. He'd find out about my past. Why was I worried anyway? He was just another doctor.

I thought he would only split my cheeks and look, but a little before I felt his finger entering me he warned me he'd do it.

I didn't have time to get used to that fact and ended up shivering at his touch.

He was careful.

It hurt a little bit and I tried not to hiss.

For a few seconds it felt good having his finger in me, touching that nice spot inside, and I had to struggle hiding my growing erection.

We talked; he brought in a lady Doctor who looked like a little fairy.

She examined me too, and it hurt.

The Doctor seemed to care a huge deal about his patients. He never left my side until I asked him to check on Anthony.

When he came back to me I had one of the biggest surprises in my life―there was a chance Doctor Cullen was our dad and he was trying to get us back.

I felt annoyed that he already knew everything about Papa and us. People must have told him the wrong story―the story they believed.

Papa always loved us. He was our real parent. Maman was always too busy taking care of Sophie and working, while Papa home schooled us, cooked, cleaned, took care of us.

I loved him as much as I loved my own brother. He loved us back and I wouldn't accept people saying he hurt or abused us.

He touched us, but he let us touch him too.

He even shaved all over so we would look alike.

We would touch him too; play with his penis, his anus. He'd let us play for as long as we wanted.

My psychologist asked me why it was so much fun to play with him like that and I told her it was nice making him laugh and feel as good as he made us feel. The only difference was that Papa made milk—he had wet orgasms—and we didn't and it was fun playing with that too.

I wondered why people thought it was so wrong.

Our bodies were ours, so we could make of them whatever we wanted.

I'd say drawing tattoos all over one's body and sticking piercings on skin was far more awful than making love, touching, making the one you love feel pleasure.

When they took Papa away, I was mad at him.

He'd always said Maman never loved on us because she loved on Sophie. And that he would just love on me and Anthony.

I caught him several times touching Sophie and I was mad at him because he lied to me. I never told Anthony that, though—it would have broken his heart.

That was over. Life had to move on, but Anthony couldn't cope losing Papa. He would cry and cry and never stop until he fell asleep exhausted.

One morning, I felt him pull my hand and place it over his penis.

I understood what I needed to do—show him he was still loved by me and that was how we became so close.

Anthony started living his life again. We'd go to school and come back to the home together.

Some teachers finally decided Anthony shouldn't pass to the next grade because he was slower than the rest of us. He was great at math, but reading and writing was a struggle.

Anthony wouldn't accept it and said he wouldn't go to school if he had to study with younger kids. So I decided I wouldn't go either if that was the case.

The State ended up conceding permission so Miss Olivia could home school us and we never went back to a classroom.

Now Doctor Cullen wanted us. He wanted us so much he was willing to adopt us so we could be with him faster. The whole process of proving he was our biological father was taking too long.

We kept it our secret while I was at the hospital. Anthony needed me by him once we told him the news.

Doctor Cullen, Daddy—I've always wanted to call my father Daddy—was a real patient and accepting man. Anthony and I had told him everything there was about us and he still wanted us with him. I made sure I would not change my relationship with my brother and he'd accepted that too.

I loved the feeling of Daddy's touch on me—it was feather like soft, warm, gentle.

The treatment with the dilator was painful at first, but nothing I couldn't take. It was hard to do it, though. Warming the thing, using the cream, but the worse was pushing that hard thing up inside me. Noticing I was struggling, Doctor Cullen offered to help me.

I felt the tenderness of his touch lubing me up and introducing the rectal dilator. The damn thing kept escaping, and the doctor had to hold it in place for the whole three minutes of treatment.

God, that hurt! I needed to learn to relax, I knew it. But it was really difficult for me to do it.

Doctor Cullen took care of me the whole time I was at the hospital, and I knew he was there as more than a doctor—he was there with me as a parent.

His lawyer was amused when he found out how easy it would be for the Doc to adopt us.

A Social Worker visited him and told him his apartment was too small for us—he lived in a two bedroom apartment.

Daddy ended up buying a bigger house and as soon as he moved in the Social Worker came and gave us permission to move in with him.

Anthony was so happy he couldn't keep his smile from beaming at us the whole time. We would have a home, a father. We would be a family.

Miss Olivia promised to visit us.

The only problem would be getting along with Daddy's fiancée—Esme. She had never met us and Daddy had made us promise to keep our antics in our bedrooms because he didn't know how she would react since she was a Catholic and believed what we did was incest.

Yes, we had separate bedrooms—Social Worker's demands.

When Esme wasn't around, we'd sleep in each other's bedrooms, but when Esme stayed over we needed to clean up, change the sheets and go sleep in our own bedroom before they arrived home.

The best times were when Daddy let us sleep with him in his bed. Well, he really didn't let us. He would pass out while we were watching movies till late at night and we just didn't leave.

It felt good.

Sometimes, while sleeping, he entangled himself around one of us and it was the best of times.

Daddy worked like crazy. Really long ours wore him out, but he felt bad for leaving us alone and would accept having us for a movie or even more than one, in his bedroom no matter what time it was he got home. He hardly ever lasted awake for half of the first movie.

He slept like a rock. A wrecking ball would demolish the house and he wouldn't wake up.

It was funny.

One night I woke up after sleeping throughout the afternoon to find Anthony in Dad's bed. I rubbed my eyes and regretted having fallen asleep and missing Daddy's arriving home.

As I focused on the image in front of me, I saw Anthony snuggling against Daddy's front, his hips rocking slowly against Daddy's body.

I froze.

"I'm loving on Daddy's hand…" he whispered.

I came closer and I saw Anthony's underwear down, his long hard shaft pressed against Daddy's hand. Daddy appeared to be oblivious to it. His other arm was around Anthony, holding him loosely as he usually did in the middle of the night while sleeping.

"I wish Daddy would wake up and caress me…" he murmured looking down at his hand holding Daddy's as he rubbed against it.

A sudden dread washed over me. Accepting we would be intimate with each other was one thing; taking advantage of his sleepy form to get what he wanted was something entirely different.

"Anthony, Daddy wouldn't like that, baby. What if he wakes up and freaks out and… and decides he doesn't want us anymore?" I tried reasoning with him.

"He told me he loves us… just before falling asleep. He held me, kissed my forehead and said he loved me, then you."

I understood why Anthony felt free to love on Daddy. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine how good it would feel if Daddy would love on us. I knew it was a long shot. Daddy loved us but felt it was inappropriate to touch us like that.

He was always tender. He caressed us, but always far, far away from where it would make us feel good.

I loved it when he came to treat me, though. He touched me with his fingers first, examining me to check if we were having any progress, parting my cheeks and looking at it for a while.

Then he penetrated me with his finger and rotated it around, feeling my scar and my ability to relax my muscles against his digit, trying to insert a second finger as a test. That was what the treatment was about—me being able to relax, so when I went to the bathroom I could do it without hurting so much.

When he was done, he introduced the dilator and pressed it with his hand.

Most nights, he would do that in his bed, so he kept holding the dilator with his body pressed against my back, while we watched the movie he tried to distract me from the pain with, until it was time to slide it out. He stared at me as he took the object out of me until he saw my gap closing.

Sometimes it took a little too long, so he massaged it to shut it faster. I had to keep it together so I didn't show how much his touch affected me.

I had that, at least. Anthony had absolutely no intimate contact with Daddy and he craved it. He didn't have the kind of attention he needed from Dad.

I understood why Daddy wouldn't want to be like that with us. I remembered what the psychologist told me about sexual intercourse and what it should be about.

But what if we felt that kind of attraction for someone and that someone was not a boyfriend but our kin? Anthony was my brother, and I loved making him feel my love for him sexually. I liked it when he did the same for me.

I didn't know if Dad would like it, though. I really believed he wouldn't.

I ended up pulling Anthony to my bedroom and making love to him myself.

It didn't take long for Anthony to start throwing fits. He was frustrated. In his mind, dad was nothing but an absent Miss Olivia. His hugs and pecks on our cheeks were far from enough for him.

I didn't blame him. I wish I could have more, too.

But he was frantic. Lessons hadn't started because we were on vacation. I had gotten my driver's license and Daddy bought us a car. I would drive Ant around to calm him down and prevent his first spanking session since we had moved in with Daddy.

One night, Daddy had called saying he would be home just a bit late so we wouldn't worry.  
Anthony was in the shower and I forgot to give him the message.

It was forty-five minutes past the time Daddy usually arrived. Anthony started getting agitated. I remembered the message and, once I told him, he went ballistic.

I knew he was looking for a chance to throw a fit.

I tried making him keep quiet, but he shouted he hated our home, he hated our life. He screamed he wanted to go back to the home and when he yelled he hated Daddy, I froze.

I looked at him, sat on the couch and sternly ordered, "Bend over my knees, now, Ant."  
It was his time to freeze.

Sometimes there was nothing we could do but spank him. He wouldn't stop. He wouldn't quit.

Since he didn't obey me, as usual, I pulled him by the hand, stopped him beside me, pulled down his pants and made him bend over my knees, letting my hand fall down hard across his cheeks.

When I slapped him the third time, Daddy walked into the door of the living room. He halted, but didn't stop me—he knew better than that.

No one knew how to better deal with Anthony and he was aware of that.

I spanked him until he had calmed down, his yelling turning into sobs, his butt cheeks were burning red. "Go to your room and wait for me there," I instructed him.

He didn't put his pants on—I knew how much he was hurting. Papa used to spank us like that. I hated it, but sometimes I think it was all Anthony wanted.

"Care to explain?"Daddy asked. I knew he was not judging me. He was… learning. I told him the whole story. He understood.

"How old do you think he is in his mind, Daddy?" I asked my father.

My father.

Jesus, how long had I dreamed of having a father I could call Daddy.

"Nine, maybe ten. But with the libido of the teenager he is."

I nodded.

"He wants me to love on him. He's asked a few times if I make love to Esme," Dad went on.

"You never do it when she's here," I mentioned.

"True. I don't want to disturb you boys."

"Will you? Love on him?" I lifted my face to gauge his reaction to my question.

"I… I never made love to a man, Ed. I can't have sex with my children."

"You don't really love us, do you?" I tried being nonchalant, but only God knew how much I was hurting inside.

"I love you more than you could ever imagine."

I felt he was being honest and truthful.

"So start getting used to the idea of showing him how much you do. Otherwise he'll turn our lives into an unlivable Hell."Standing up, I excused myself so I could go after Anthony.

"I gotta go rub some lotion on him, before he starts all over again."

In his bedroom, as I had pulled Ant to my lap, I started rubbing moisturizer on his butt cheeks. I caressed his ass crack, his hole. He knew he'd have what he wanted once he stopped crying. Daddy walked inside and waited by the door. Maybe, he wanted to see, to learn.

I felt sorry for him. He went looking for his beautiful long lost sons and got stuck with two freaks.

As Anthony stopped crying, I pulled him to me, making him sit on my lap, and I penetrated him with my finger as he pulled on his rock hard cock.

I didn't mind Daddy was watching. He had to know us. He had to learn we were different and needed different things. Regular rules didn't apply to us. The fastest he realized that, the better for all of us.

As I finger fucked Ant, he pumped his erection gasping, moaning. Tears kept falling down his cheeks.

To my surprise, Dad didn't leave us. He walked towards us, sat on my side and caressed Ant.

He slid his hands down Anthony's body, kissing him on the neck softly. He caressed Ant's thighs, really close to his penis, down his balls. His hands were trembling, ghosting along Anthony's skin.

It was almost funny how Daddy seemed to fight his own feelings and beliefs, as he tried to show us he cared.

His hand was tentatively reaching for Ant's cock, and I felt Ant shivering in my lap.

When Daddy wrapped his hand around Anthony's erection, he came all over Daddy's hand. Anthony looked back and found Daddy's lips. He kissed Daddy with full force, as Dad was still jerking him off and it was just beautiful.

Dad let go of Ant's lips and whispered against then, "I love you," their foreheads touching. I knew he'd come around. I knew he would. It was just the beginning.

But it wasn't, really. Nothing else happened for so long I thought Daddy imagined that single gesture would have shown us his love.

Summer was over and Dad insisted that I went to school. The closest school from home was an expensive, private one.

Anthony wouldn't accept going, but was okay with my decision to go.

I used to play basketball at the home my whole life and soon was playing at the school team too.

I liked being at school.

I had a fine time with my colleagues and teachers. I sure loved learning so much and having lessons in laboratories, and discussing the subjects with so many people, catching a glimpse of other people's points of view.

I just couldn't stand the jealousy of knowing Anthony was home with Daddy when I was not. I needed to get over it someday.

* * *

Daddy worked a lot.

With me in school and Daddy in the hospital, we had our hands full with Anthony when we got home.

Most nights Daddy was home, we ended up cuddling with Anthony as meat in a sandwich all night. Sometimes Ant would pull my hand into his boxers and I jerked him off inside his underpants while

Daddy was still asleep.

* * *

I had taken a test to see how much I had learned while being home schooled all that time, and ended up in Senior Year at school.

Daddy tried to keep Esme as far away from us as possible. I understood we were a handful. He said it was because when he was with us, he wanted to be there just for us.

I just wished he had warned us that Wednesday night he would bring her home.

Anthony was animated with his scores on the Math tests and we ended up loving on each other and passing out in his bedroom, naked and sticking with come and sweat.

As Esme passed by his door, she had the stupid idea of opening it to see Anthony—he was her favorite.

What she saw would haunt her forever, I supposed. The two twins in each other's arms—naked. Our cocks and bare chests were pressed together, arms around each other.

We woke up with her screaming. She was loud and crazed!

"Carlisle! I can't believe you allow something like that under your roof!" she would yell, "This is an abomination! They are brothers! They even share the exact same DNA and you let this happen right under your nose?"

I couldn't listen to Dad's answers. I thought he was quiet.

Dad didn't even try reasoning with her.

"I will never step foot in this house if you don't promise this ends here and now!" she growled.

I heard dad sigh. Then I heard him come closer to our door where she was and tell her, "I love them just the way they are. I won't try and change who they are because of beliefs I don't share with you."

"It's in the Bible, Carlisle! This is a sin! God will punish you all! You are all going to Hell for this!"

She went on and on about how God never intended men to be together like that, how sexual intercourse was about romantic love between a man and a woman, and reproduction. She pointed out our anatomy was testimony in itself. She said these kind of sinners should be locked away somewhere, somehow their sickness could be healed.

Daddy was listening to her quietly.

We didn't move on Anthony's bed, pretending we were sleeping; darkness covering us and enabling us to look at each other without being discovered awake.

Anthony's eyes glistened. I knew he was frightened. Thank God we were close and our bodies touching so he could have a little comfort.

As soon as she ran out of reasons why Anthony and I should be put down like street rabid dogs, Daddy finally responded. I never heard him being so serene. He spoke to her as if she was a stupid infant.

"I'm sorry, Esme, but I don't believe in your God. Your God allowed my kids to live their whole lives counting only on each other. They lived through Hell. None of your God's angels came to rescue them and show them what life was about. They didn't have a loving family who would treat them with fairness and responsibility. If He is the Lord of Mercy you always claim Him to be, He won't mind how my kids show their love to each other even sharing the same DNA."

Daddy paused a little, took a deep breath and went on.

"The God I believe overlooks things like this. The God I believe gives me strength to bare the guilt I feel for not finding them fast enough. I feel God around me whenever I save a patient's life, but I feel His presence strongly when I'm wrapped around my sons. I thank Him profusely for helping me find them, for helping me have my family with me."

Pause.

"You know how I lost my parents and was left alone in the world. And now that I got my boys with me, you want me to torture them because some men wrote an ancient book claiming to be inspired by God, saying what they do will send them to Hell? They have lived through Hell already; I think their bill has been paid."

After a long sigh, he ended, "My God values good people who are capable of doing good deeds. And my kids are great boys, capable of doing so much good in life. You will have to forgive me, but if you cannot accept my sons the way they are, we're over."

We heard nothing else from them but the click of the front door opening and closing.

Daddy must have gone to bed.

I was crushed.

I loved every single word that came from my father's lips.

But what Esme said hurt so bad I had to give up trying to hold the tears stinging my eyes. When they came down my face, they brought along all the despair that had been constricting my chest and, for the first time in years, I felt my body shaking with sobbing I couldn't control any more.

Anthony tried comforting me, holding me tight against his chest. He knew what had made me feel that way, even though he was not affected by it with the same intensity.

"Edward… you heard what Daddy said. He loves us, you don't need to feel this way. What she said doesn't matter. She's a crazy church woman. She knows nothing about us."

Things were so much easier in Anthony's mind. Black and white. No gray areas in between. What she said was what anyone else would say and think had they known what happened in our house. And she had no idea how much Ant and I craved Daddy's physical contact, too.

We were freaks and I had never felt so bad about it in my entire life.

As I cried, wrapped in my little world of hurt, I felt my father slip into bed behind me, circling an arm around Anthony and me, pulling us towards his body, trapping me between them.

"Don't mind what she said, Love. I love both of you and I don't think what you do is wrong or that we're all going to Hell just because of how we show love to one another. I believe God put the two of you together through so much so you could develop such extraordinary love for each other. God never taught anyone to hate others because of whatever they did, and yet she spilled so much hate and never bothered about God looking down at her wishing she would really do what He had taught us all—to love, respect and protect each other."

I had to turn around and look at him. I could never have asked for a father more perfect than him.

I loved the feeling of Dad's strong chest against mine.

Still crying, I buried my face in the crook of his neck, but dad leaned back and caught my chin lifting my face to look at him. Holding my face between his hands, he wiped my eyes with his thumbs and looked at me right in the eye. I watched him closing the distance between our faces and closed my eyes the moment I felt his lips touching mine.

It was soft, slow at first. I thought he would pull back at any time. When I felt his lips parting and his tongue slipping between my lips, I granted him entrance and let him kiss me.

His warmth enveloped me and I held him impossibly closer, relishing at his taste. Oh, how I wanted to be kissed by him like that. It was strong and powerful and desperate.

I felt his tears mixing with mine, moisture covering our cheeks.

As he pulled back a little, I felt the cold air on my face, but soon his warm breath hit me as he said, "I love you, Edward. Nothing is ever going to change that." He took a deep breath and continued, "I promise I'll try and do whatever it takes to make you two happy from now on, okay?"

Dad caressed Anthony's hair, then mine.

"I won't let anyone say anything bad about us anymore. I promise."

After a little while, he spoke again. His voice a little bit more cheerful.

"Let's go to my bed. This one is too small for the three of us. I'm almost falling to the floor."

Chuckling, the three of us went to Daddy's bedroom and fell asleep entangled in each other.

* * *

AN/ I'd love to know what you think!

Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**AN**

I'm still really overwhelmed with the response to my _lovin'_ story. Thanks so much for all the follows, and favorites, and reviews!

**Warning:**

This story deals with** incest.** There will be mentions of past **rape and child abuse**. If you don't wish to read about any of it, please, don't do it then. As I'm sure you will not want to waste your time reading something you don't care about. I also don't want to waste my time reading reviews that comment on how deranged the story is. I love it anyway!

**I need to thank my Irish Sister, who betaed this story and who made me so enthusiastic about posting it.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**CPOV**

I remember as if it had just happened today. Waking up with the phone call from home that startled me—something must had happened for them to be calling so late.

What made me realize things couldn't possibly be worse was that Seth, a neighbors' kid, was the one on the other end of the line.

"I'm sorry for calling you so late, Carl. But I couldn't wait till morning."

Seth explained how my mom and dad had been in an accident and how mom hadn't made it. Dad was in the ICU at a local hospital, but was in bad shape. His parents were in their emergency contacts list at the hospital, since my parents have done it so long ago that I was still too young to be in it myself.

I drove my car all night to try and see Dad, but by the time I got to the hospital, he had already passed, too.

I buried my parents when I was only twenty-two. They were weekend bikers and used to go to bikers gatherings around town sometimes.

That night, they were out in a big group, just riding the freeway coming back home.

A drunken pick-up driver hadn't waited for all the bikers to cross a crossroad and drove forward, running over many bikers, including my parents.

My parents were always supportive of me looking for my sons. They were excited about meeting them, but they'd never had the chance.

Having my boys with me was more than just righting what was wrong. I'd always had a loving family and I'm sure they had the right to having one too.

Bringing them home felt like walking into Heaven.

I had bought the bigger house the Social Worker had demanded, had furnished the two bedrooms—one for each—had hired a cleaning lady to come work for us twice a week.

I offered both boys to pay for a nice private school close to home and Edward seemed thrilled to be going back to school.

Anthony… not so much.

So we decided Edward would go, and Anthony would continue on studying at home with me as he used to at the home.

I worried Anthony wouldn't cope well with Edward being away for so long during the day, but he was also busy working hard in his studies, and he'd surprise me every day with how much he'd achieved.

Soon, Edward was invited to play for the school basketball team since he was so tall and used to practice it at the home court with other kids and Anthony.

As I spent so much time at the hospital, I tried to make every minute with my boys count. They were almost seventeen and I had participated so little in their lives.

Anthony was still his childish self. We had to remember him to pick after himself, clean his dishes, organize his room. He would make messes everywhere and then lie about never having anything to do with that.

He asked me for drawing material non-stop, but I was afraid of buying him more things that would end up laying everywhere in the house.

God, I loved him just like that. Loved it when he rolled his eyes back and yelled, "Daaaadd, please! I'll do it later, alright?" Since I would never budge, he would come over and hug me, trying to make me forget what I had asked him to do.

He was so tender and caring, so, so sweet! Sometimes he'd do things for us out of no reason, like snacks or folding our laundry, or massaging our feet.

He loved being in the kitchen and his experimental cooking always surprised us―sometimes in a good way, sometimes not.

He would use anything to be close, skin on skin preferably.

Edward was not so touchy-feely. The only times we had more contact was when I was helping him with his treatment.

I didn't enjoy the feelings I had while touching my son. It was wrong and I felt repulsive when it was over.

I was not gay.

I had never even noticed men like that.

He was my son.

But I knew Edward liked being… taken. It was hard not to notice he was often eager for me to take care of him. He tried to hide it, but he didn't do it well.

Lately he would ask me to lie down in bed behind him to hold the dilator in place for the three minutes it had to be in. Many times he would just hold my arm around him and pretend to forget we had to take it out. He would close his eyes and pretend to be sleeping. I knew by his breathing he was still awake.

He'd slightly roll his hips against mine, making the dilator move inside him. He'd sigh and sometimes moan a little.

I understood he needed the contact. He always had that with people he loved.

That thought made me cringe—the only two people he'd loved before coming home was Anthony and his abusive adoptive father.

Shit.

The worst of all was hearing them calling me Daddy after I dreamed of an auburn headed man writhing under me, saying, "Oh, Daddy… feels so, so good!"

The images were blurry, but the sound was as clear as day.

So when they called me Daddy my cock stirred. But I fought these feelings back with everything I had in me.

Some things I couldn't prevent, like Anthony sitting on my lap to watch TV on the living room couch, or the boys falling asleep on my bed, after a movie session held in my room, so I could lie down and rest after long hours shifts.

I would wake up entangled on them, or the other way around. They were generally pressed against me.

I hated waking up with morning wood pressed against my sons' bodies, especially because it felt… oh fuck… it felt good.

Maybe I needed to have more sex. I had been living a life of celibacy since the boys moved in.

I wouldn't let Esme sleep in my place. On rare occasions, she would stay, but I would never have sex there with her. I always remembered how Anthony and Edward would watch their adoptive parents having sex, and I was scared they would hear us and remember what they used to see.

I couldn't sleep over at Esme's anymore, because Edward needed help with Anthony. Sometimes my boy was so overwhelming.

One day I arrived a little later than usual and witnessed something so appalling it broke my heart.

Edward had Anthony on his lap, pants down, spanking him hard. Anthony cried out loud and I didn't know what to think. I knew Edward would never lay a hand on his brother unless it was extremely necessary.

Edward had a lot more experience on dealing with Ant. I just had to stay quiet and observe.

Anthony calmed down slowly, and once his tantrum was over, Edward told him to go to his bedroom with a

loud commanding voice. Anthony walked with his head down, tears still welling down his face.

I was rooted in place, waiting for an explanation from Edward.

We talked and I found out that Anthony needed it to be grounded somehow. Edward said that whenever he was too restless and confused, he'd throw a tantrum and wouldn't stop until he had gotten spanked.

I understood. Anthony wasn't like the other kids.

As the adoption was finalized, they had granted me access to their medical records. Going over them, I found out Anthony had suffered from birth asphyxia. It was a mild one and the doctors thought he would be just fine.

Only years later one could start noticing he was different. But I loved him just like that. His sparkly eyes, his easy smile, his simple way of reading situations and acting on them—all of it would draw me in.

Edward was also so special I could never stop pointing out his qualities once I'd started. He was the best student in school and became one of the main players at the school basketball team, besides being the best son a father could ever ask for.

He helped with absolutely everything. Living around him was a walk in the park.

He made sure Anthony and himself were always freshly showered when I came home from work. Dinner was prepared, most of the times by Anthony, and a movie was picked from my collection so we could have some family time eating popcorn in front of the television after checking their homework.

I didn't really have to check Edward's homework, but he would show me anyway so Anthony would always have his done to show me too.

Edward loved and accepted his brother just the way he was.

Once, some colleagues from school made fun of Anthony after a basketball game, when we climbed down the bleachers. Edward quit the team and, when the coach came to our house to ask him to go back, he said he'd only do it if the people who'd made fun of his brother would apologize at the beginning of the next game.

They did a lot better than that. They never knew how much Edward cared about his brother, and it seemed to me that they cared about Edward a great deal too.

The cheerleaders had prepared a routine especially for Anthony. The colleagues, who had made fun of him, apologized for being mean to him in the basketball court. Anthony was so overwhelmed I felt my eyes water.

They also brought him a huge gift—painting supplies! There were lots of kinds of paint brushes, paint, drawing charcoal, oil and dry pastels, sketch pads and canvas. They had asked Edward what would make Anthony happy and he'd told them. They really felt bad about joking and laughing at Anthony's expense.

It was a great night.

From then on, Anthony had been going out with Edward and hanging out with Ed's friends sometimes.

What made me curious was the fact that Edward never invited them over to our place. Once, I asked him why. He said it was because our place was private. Sometime later, I understood what he meant. Edward knew people wouldn't understand his intimacy with his brother, and Anthony had learned that when they were out, they wouldn't touch. But at home, they were free to do so.

* * *

At the hospital one Saturday, I ended up twisting my ankle and sent home after having my leg put in a cast.  
It never crossed my mind calling the boys to say I was coming home early.

I arrived and dragged myself up to my bedroom, once I took in the silence in the house—the boys must had been out.

Walking down the hall, I heard noises and I was paralyzed before walking into the open door to my room—the boys were in my bed.

I know I should have felt disgusted, or even ashamed for my actions. It didn't matter.

Anthony was at the bottom, Edward was kissing him all over. It was intense and the urgency to connect was endearing. They were both naked, Edward's bare ass in the air as he knelt between Anthony's legs.

I sat on the floor of the hallway and watched them.

I should have been mad at them for doing it in my bed. Secretly, I was enjoying watching them like that in my bed so fucking much it was hard sitting still.

Edward's lips ran down Anthony, who moaned lowly, delicately. Next, Edward scooted back and laved Anthony's crotch with his tongue, taking Ant's cock into his mouth soon after.

Anthony was so responsive to Edward's touch it made me shiver. I remembered once I walked in on them making out on the couch. It took some time for them to notice I had entered the room and they apologized for it. It was weird how perfect they fit together.

"How do you want it, Ant?" Edward breathed.

"On my stomach… I want my face on Daddy's pillow," Anthony replied turning over and burying his face in my pillow inhaling deeply.

At this point, Edward was already down between Anthony's cheeks, licking his anus and making him gasp.  
But Anthony couldn't stop talking.

"Jesus, Edward… Daddy smells so good, doesn't he?"

Edward only hummed his response as he lifted his head up and prepared his brother to take him.

"I love his smell… I love him so much, Ed… I wish he loved me the same way," Anthony went on.

"He does love you the same way… he just believes physical contact has to be between partners… lovers…" Edward explained.

"But we ARE his partners. We live together, we love each other…"

"Esme is his partner Ant… Esme."

I felt Edward's voice sour at his response.

"Enter me…please."

As Edward slid inside Ant, his muscles twitched under his skin, and he was painfully slow, making Anthony moan a bit louder, Ed's glutes, flexing and relaxing as he moved inside his brother.

I watched them bewitched by the two identical bodies, moaning and gasping, whispering to each other. A few minutes later, Anthony was louder when he asked, "make milk inside me, Ed… please!"

"I'm not close yet…" Ed's anguished voice spoke.

"Lean down… smell Daddy… close your eyes and think of him," Anthony instructed.

I felt my face flush and heat up even more than before. What surprised me to no end was that Edward did what Anthony had asked, crushing his chest to his brother's back, and burying his face on my pillow next to Anthony's face. He rushed his thrusts and came moaning so loud it sounded like a growl.

Anthony waited until Edward's spasms were over.

Edward rolled over the bed and Anthony lay on his back again.

"Wanna milk me Ed?" Edward leaned between Anthony's legs and sucked him off till he came, holding my pillow close, smelling it.

After both had come, Edward went up to his brother and kissed him lazily. His tongue playing with Ant's lips, caressing him with his hand, pulling on Anthony's spent penis playfully.

They fell asleep together on my bed.

It was hard to walk in a cast, and in the state of excitement I was in.

I climbed down the stairs and sat on the couch until the boys came down.

* * *

It pained me how much Edward resented Esme.

She was a doll, and Anthony liked her a lot. He'd cook by her when she came over, they'd play video games together, but Edward wouldn't warm up to her―it looked like he never would.

His eyes were hard when she was around and he'd never smile around her. It was when she was at the house that Edward touched me the most, always when she was not around to see. I understood he needed

reassurance―he needed to make sure I wouldn't leave them for her.

I never held back. I didn't even mind if she saw us. He was my son and I wasn't going to refrain from being tender with him because of my fiancé.

I would hold him tight if his eyes turned sorrowful. "I love you son," I would tell him, "nothing is ever going to change that."

Not even if I opened those envelopes and found out they weren't really mine, I thought.

The envelopes were still sealed inside the locked drawer of my desk. I had locked that drawer the day they came in and I hadn't unlocked it ever since. The envelopes held the results to the DNA tests that were run together with the whole check up the three of us had made as soon as the boys came to live with me. I was scared to death to learn they weren't really mine. I had told them their mom said they were and that I believed her. So they also knew there was a chance that she had lied, or wasn't really sure.

The boys didn't know I had run the tests. I really did it just so my lawyer would get off my back.

* * *

The night of our sixth anniversary of starting a relationship, I didn't know why Esme insisted on coming to my house after dinner so much. We hadn't planned our evening like that. I was tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.

It was all quiet when we walked in―boys were asleep for sure. We had to turn the lights on, on the way to my room. I walked ahead and, taking my shoes off, sat on the bed, I heard her scream.

Esme had opened Anthony's bedroom door and caught them sleeping naked together.

I walked slowly, to her as she screamed how wrong that was and how we were all going to Hell if I didn't stop that abomination.

I worried about the boys―sure they had woken up with her outburst of self-righteous anger. I wanted her to shut up. She wouldn't if I addressed her accusations. So I waited and let her say whatever she wanted to say, and when I replied, it wasn't really for her. I was speaking to her, but hoping the boys would listen and know I didn't agree with her. I wouldn't stick with someone that thought my kids were abominable, either.

As she left, I combed my hair with my fingers and sighed. I turned around and went back to my room to breathe. I watched her drive away in my car―I'd had to ask someone to go pick it up from her house the next day and ask for Edward to lend me his car for the day.

After cooling off a bit, I went back to my sons. They sure needed me.

I slipped in their bed, promised I was theirs and not hers, and for the first time I let myself not care whether what I was doing was right or wrong. I kissed Edward's lips that night. It was the most intense kiss I'd ever experienced. I poured everything I got into that kiss.

They were it for me.

I wouldn't want any other woman to come between us or make them feel like freaks in their own house.

* * *

Edward was about to go to the university. We'd decided he'd live on Campus, so he wouldn't have to commute every day. The distance from the UW to our house was too great.

Anthony never complained before Edward's move―he believed Edward had the right to experience college as he would too, the day he finished high school. But once Edward was away, things changed.

Even with Edward's promise to come back every weekend―which I found unnecessary―Anthony started becoming restless. He wouldn't sleep by himself, and I had to leave my cell phone on during my shifts at night, because if he woke up and I wasn't home yet, he would call me no matter what time it was.

Kate, my secretary, would answer the phone when I was in surgery. She was so calm and understanding with Anthony. Sometimes she even went to our house to stay with him till I could come home.

But with time, things got harder.

When Edward had to stay in school for the weekend studying for his mid-term exams, Anthony flipped.

I didn't know what to do. He was out of control, changing channels at the TV, making messes in the kitchen and not cleaning up— after having cooked absolutely nothing—apart from the crying.

I tried holding him, calming him down. I had to ask someone to cover for me at the hospital, because Antony was in no shape to stay home alone. He'd start drawing horrible things, gargoyles, demons, and hang all over his bedroom.

I was trying to cook us lunch when I heard him screaming at the phone, "I WANNA GO BACK TO THE HOME! I WANNA HAVE YOU THE WAY WE WERE BEFORE! THIS PLACE IS NOT GOOD! DADDY HATES ME, EDWARD! HE HATES ME! I WANT THINGS THE WAY THEY WERE!"

I walked to where he was and he threw the phone at me, almost hitting me on the face before hitting the wall behind me and falling to the floor.

I picked it up with tears in my eyes. I was losing my son.

"Edward, I don't know what to do any more. He won't listen to me, Son."

"Daddy, listen to me. You'll have to spank him, Dad. It's the only way to make him snap out of that state."  
I was silent. I had forgotten all about it. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't.

"Daddy, you remember those days, right? How he had to be spanked?"

I nodded forgetting Edward was in the other side of the line.

"Daddy, if you don't do it, it'll get worse and I'll have to come down there and do it myself. It's either that or a straight jacket, Dad. I don't want my brother in a straight jacket all drugged up in a loony bin."

I threw my hand into my hair and sighed.

"Remember Dad, it has to hurt or it won't work. He needs to be grounded, to be pulled back to reality. Pull his boxers down to his knees, and do it until he stops squirming."

I sighed again and thanked my son for the advice, still unwilling to follow it.

But I walked into my room and Anthony was pulling all my clothes from the drawers, and throwing them to the floor.

"Edward doesn't love me anymore and it's all your fault!" he yelled.

That was it. It was either spanking him back to reality or a straight jacket.

I pulled him by the hand and sat on my bed, pulling his sleep pants down and boxers. I bent him over my knees and had to fight him to keep him there.

He'd scream "Don't, Daddy, please! Don't spank me, Daddy! I promise I'll be good!" I knew he wouldn't―he was too wired up.

I raised my hand and let it come down for a fist slap. He cried loud, still repeating his words as a mantra, "Don't spank me, Daddy, please!" I went on, feeling his skin heating up under my palm. The hand marks swelling up in a raging tone of red. He fought me all the time, and I felt my arm ache from the repetitive movement. I had lost the sense of touch on my palm already.

I decided to change tactics―I would slap one ass cheek, then rub it a little to sooth it. Then I'd slap the other one and do the same, rubbing circles gently. It worked. Anthony calmed down. When I stopped, he turned around and hissed at the contact of his burning ass with my jeans.

He slid off my lap, positioning himself between my thighs parting my knees after retrieving the lotion from the floor, where he'd had thrown it with many of my clothes.

He held me like that, on his knees, arms around my waist, his penis pressed against me, waiting for me to rub his butt with lotion.

I did as he wanted. He was nice and calm, apart from his cock, twitching against mine.

As I rubbed lotion on his backside, he asked me, "I need your finger… I need your finger inside me so I can feel better, just like Edward does."

I closed my eyes and kissed his neck. I'd do anything to keep him calm.

I had my fingers covered in lotion already. As soon as I slid the first knuckle inside him, his right hand flew to his cock between us.

Anthony pumped his cock as I finger fucked his ass, until he came.

I was lost in the haze. His lust combined with mine was clouding my thoughts and I just went with the moment.

"Look Daddy," he started just as he came, "I made milk…" he whispered, "I love how it feels when I make milk…"

He was playing with his cock, covered in his sperm. Then he lifted his fingers after scooping some of it and offered me. I latched my lips to his fingers and sucked hard, completely high on whatever I was feeling. Anthony chuckled and as I released his finger he attacked my mouth, invading me with his tongue, biting me, ravaging me until our lips were swollen.

I pulled Anthony up to bed, careful not to push him to his back so his ass wouldn't hurt.

I was almost falling asleep when I felt Anthony's hand creeping down my pants. My cock was semi-hard and went fully erect at the contact with my baby's hand.

"You tasted my milk, Daddy… I wanna taste yours, too."

Anthony pulled my cock out and stroked me, kissing my lips some more. It didn't take long for me to come hard, shooting my load all over my abdomen and chest.

Anthony pulled back from our kiss and chuckled, his little, wicked grin plastered on his face. Ant positioned between my legs and licked me clean, sucking on my limp sensitive dick as a final act.

We slept the rest of the afternoon way into the evening.

What made me worry was that I didn't feel any remorse for having been so intimate with my Anthony―until I woke up the next day and looked at myself in the mirror.

I paced back and forth behind my desk. It felt like I was itching to open Pandora's box.

Anything could happen after I opened those envelopes.

I could become serene at the thought of Anthony and Edward not being my blood relatives, what would make our intimate moments the night before less... oh man.

I'd also feel so fucking outraged for having been lied to. I spent ten years of my life haunted by the fact that I had twin sons lost in the world not able to find them! I loved the thought of being their father, and having that taken away from me would just rip me apart.

On the other hand, what if they were my sons? I would have had sex with my son. Even not entering his body, I would have. He's over eighteen now, and I hadn't been the one to start anything, but fuck… we ate each other's come, we kissed each other's lips.

I knew that Anthony craved intimacy since the day he'd known I was his father and he had a chance to love and be loved back.

He had been trying and complaining to Edward I didn't love him because I'd refuse to do it, to be physically intimate with him. I knew he finally felt loved and cared for, but nothing could erase the shame I was feeling.

I also loved him so fucking much I'd never be able to say no to him. But I would try, really hard.

Should I open the envelopes, or not?

Even if they were not my blood sons, they became my sons once I decided to adopt them. I should be taking care of them, making sure they could have the best lives possible, loving them as a father, not a lover.

Even if they were not my blood sons, would that make whatever happened between us these couple of years right? Did I have the right to have them that way, and feel what I felt for them? What would make me any different from their abusive adoptive French father all those years ago?

As thoughts rushed through my head, I knelt down across from that rotten drawer that tantalized me. I looked at it, and then glanced at the key in my hand, then back at the damn drawer.

No.

No.

Opening the envelopes wouldn't make me feel better. The options were scary and everything in my life could go to Hell once I opened the fucking envelopes.

I needed someone to talk to.

I could talk to no one.

I'd have to learn to deal with it. Deal with the bad feelings of complying with Anthony's pleas. I'd have to find a way to let those feelings go somehow.

* * *

"Dad, I think I like someone in school," Edward leaned close to my ear to coo behind me so Anthony wouldn't hear him, as I was stirring some vegetables at the stove.

I was really happy for Edward―he was having the normal life he deserved.

"Tell me. Anthony's drawing in his room. He stays there for hours once he starts," I assured him.

"Well… He's kind, and beautiful…" I turned to him and saw his cheeks flush.

"How'd you meet him?" I asked amused. It was a "him". Edward was really into men.

"He's my room-mate." Oh! I thought.

"I thought no one was bunking with you." I mused.

"No one was. But I was asked by the Housing department assistant, the other day, if I would mind sharing my room with this kid who was being bullied, right?" Edward was still whispering, but he was so excited he looked twelve, and not nineteen. I nodded so he could proceed.

"And I said it would be fine. I don't care much for sleeping by myself anyway," he sounded like a machine gun with a silencer device.

"Why was he being bullied?" I felt my forehead crease as I asked.

"Cuz he's gay?" His statement sounded more like an "Of course it was because he's gay, why else would it be?" I just looked surprised at him and motioned my hand so he'd go on telling his story.

"He's so nice, dad." He sighed. The rush had run out.

"What does he look like?" I asked, but as he'd start answering, Anthony came to the kitchen for some water.

"Hey baby brother?" Edward said instead, "What are you working on?"

"Hey, Ed, " Anthony responded excited, "Wanna come upstairs and see?"

Edward nodded, grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter and walked behind his brother.

They were there for a while, when I decided to go upstairs and clean up for dinner.

Before I passed by Anthony's bedroom, I could overhear their conversation from a small distance. I approached slowly once I heard Anthony saying, "Daddy spanked me the other day, you know…" I fully stopped and tried listening to what they were saying.

"I know… I spoke to him on the phone you threw at him."

"I thought you didn't love me anymore. You didn't come back when I asked you to."

"Ant, you have to know you can't always have your way."

"I can try…" I heard them chuckle.

"You were out of your mind."

"I'm sorry. I know… I just feel this thing inside me… I feel like I wanna run away, disappear…"

"It's okay… what's not okay is that you get angry and you hurt people who love you," Edward tried reasoning with him.

"He is strong… he spanked me hard," Ant moaned.

I held my breath afraid of what he'd say next.

"You wouldn't make things easy on him, would you?"

Someone chuckled. I think it was Anthony.

"Daddy loves me, Ed… Now I know how much he does." I almost missed what Anthony had said he spoke so low.

Goosebumps broke out all over my body for no good reason, but it snapped me out of it, and I realized how ridiculous I was being, listening at the door as a six year old.

I stood up and walked right past it―I was surprised I had lowered myself to the floor―coming back just to let them know dinner would be ready soon.

* * *

"So… tell me about this kid. What's his name?" I asked Edward as he ran his slender fingers through a sound sleeping Anthony's hair. Ant's head was lying on Ed's lap, his feet on mine as I rubbed them.

We were on the couch watching some silly reality show.

"His name's Riley. And to answer your question in the kitchen, he's blond, blue eyed. He's got wavy sort of long hair… he's a lot shorter than me… Oh, he plays the guitar and sings too."

"It seems to me you really like this guy."

A sad smile spread on his cheeks, but didn't reach his eyes.

"Anthony will think―" Edward started, but I didn't let him finish.

"He'll adjust. He'll have to. Some day you will fall in love and live your own life and he'll have to accept it."

"What about him? Will he ever do the same? Fall in love and have his own life? Who would love him enough to put up with his shit, Dad?" Edward's voice showed so much concern. I felt sorry for him. He felt it was his duty to take care of Anthony, but it wasn't any more.

"I will," I responded, "He'll have a life of his own. He can't be by himself, though. We both know he needs the constant presence of someone who cares about him. I'm his dad, Edward. I don't care about anyone else, but you two. No one else matters."

Edward leaned his head and nodded a couple of times.

"Thanks, Dad…"

* * *

**AN - Reviews are always welcome! ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN/**

I'm really happy you guys are being so open-minded about this story. I thank you all for your kind comments and support. We're not away from the ending, unfortunately.

**Warning:**

This story deals with** incest**. There will be mentions of past rape and child abuse. If you don't wish to read about any of it, please, don't do it then. As I'm sure you will not want to waste your time reading something you don't care about. I also don't want to waste my time reading reviews that comment on how deranged the story is. I love it anyway!

**I need to thank my Irish Sister, who betaed this story and who made me so enthusiastic about posting it.**

* * *

**Chapter 4 **

**EPOV**

Daddy had loved on Anthony.

Daddy had loved on Anthony.

Daddy had loved on Anthony.

That was all I could think of. I wasn't sure, though.

Anthony had said Daddy really loved him. He didn't give me any details, but that could only be it. Ant always stated that if Daddy really loved him, he would love on him. So if he claims Daddy loves him now, I bet they touched, they kissed, they loved on each other.

Fuck.

These thoughts were killing me.

Daddy loved him more than he loved me.

Daddy had kissed me, but he'd only touch me to treat my scarred ass.

I was okay with it because I knew he wouldn't touch his kids―in his mind that was inappropriate.

Dad wanted me to have a life of my own away from them.

He didn't mind I was interested in Riley.

On the other hand, he could also be tired of taking care of both of us.

I knew he wouldn't love on Anthony unless Ant made the first move―or every move for that matter. Daddy fought against our urges so hard these past years. I tried not cornering him, even thought I craved him as much as Anthony—maybe even more.

Anthony didn't have first idea of what a wonderful man Daddy was. I did.

Dad changed his whole life to accommodate us. He did everything in his power to make us happy, feeling loved and cared for.

He tended to almost our every need―almost.

And he had no idea if we were really his.

I dreaded the day he would decide to have the DNA test results opened.

He always said it didn't matter. He always said he loved the idea of having us even before he saw Anthony and me. He said that now it didn't matter anymore, because he was our father, on paper, and in his heart.

Blood didn't matter.

We studied genetics in biology at school and a thought kept nagging me. I thought we looked nothing like Daddy. I doubted he was really our biological father.

We had met mom once. We never told him about it.

She came over to see us, holding a little girl by her hand. No one said she was our mother, but I knew she was. It was like looking at myself in the mirror.

She came close and looked at Anthony with so much pity in her eyes I wanted to run to her and kick her on the shin.

We were eleven at that time.

I didn't like her from the start.

The little girl on her hand was not dressed as the princess she deserved to look like. She was beautiful. Blonde hair, green eyed. But her hair was cut short like a boy's, greasy, all plastered to her skull, and her clothes didn't match and were dirty. She was skinny and her eyes looked so sad my heart shrank.

We were in better conditions than her. We were never dirty or hungry.

'Was the woman leaving her girl there?' I thought.

On the other hand, the woman looked stunning! High heels, nice looking dress, face with make-up, perfume…

I had no idea if she was a good mom who had taken her daughter to play in the park and the little girl was only tired. I just don't think she would do such a thing on those heels.

I hated how she came close to us enough to talk to the director of the home about us behind our backs, but letting us hear them, talking about us pretending we weren't there.

I remember she said something like "poor thing is retarded after all. Doctor said he'd be fine."  
I hated her so much I wished she would just burst into flames and go back to the Hell she had crawled out of.

I thanked God she had given up on us in case she was really our birth mother. I closed my eyes and hoped she wasn't there to bring us home.

She could have lied to Daddy. Don't know why she'd do it, but she could.

I studied hard because nothing was more important than making Daddy happy. I was taking pre-med. I wanted to go to med school to be like him. Like my father. I'd do anything to make him proud of me.

God, I loved him.

Shit.

I needed to put my disturbing thoughts away and do what I had planned to.

* * *

The first time Dad had invited Riley to come for lunch on a Saturday, the whole experience proved he was wrong about Anthony's chances to adjust to the new situation.

Lunch was strained.

Anthony's eyes focused on his plate, pushing his food around the whole meal.

Riley was trying his best to please everybody; especially Anthony―Ant wouldn't even look at him.

Dad was really pleasant and welcoming, what made Anthony even madder at the whole situation.

Riley didn't stay over.

The first chance I got, once Riley had gone back to the dorm, I went into Anthony's room and tried talking to him. I opened the door, walked in. He was leaning over his drawing desk, focused on his work.

"Say, Ant… what went on there at lunch, baby brother?"

"Nothing… just don't like the guy," he answered not moving his eyes from the sketch pad in front of him.

"Why not?" I tried sounding nonchalant; I didn't want to pick a fight.

"It doesn't matter. I'll always have Daddy. Even after you leave with that guy…"

"Anthony look at me!" I said turning his chair around, making him look at me even against his will.

"That's not gonna happen, Ant. I'll never leave."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep. You already left. Now you have, apart from a new home, a boyfriend. You are preparing to leave us for good. Too bad for you. It's your loss anyway." Anthony turned around and kept working.

I felt powerless. He had a point. I could never stay and keep a boyfriend. Daddy couldn't keep Esme with him. He chose us. I'd have to choose between my brother and my boyfriend.

Between my brother and my father and my boyfriend, whoever the guy I fell in love with would be.

"He's weak, you know… He'll hold you back." Anthony threw over his shoulder.

Where the fuck had that come from? Anthony was never a perceptive person. And what he had just pointed out was way too elaborate for his mind.

I turned around and walked back to him.

"What'd you say?"

"I can see how weak he is in his eyes. His voice is shaky. You'll have to take care of him all the time, same way you had me. Daddy is gonna be wasting his money in college tuition if you are there to look after the scared rabbit instead of studying."

The word "surprised" was too light to describe what I became at my brother's words. My jaw dropped and I didn't really know what to say. Anthony had seen right through Riley.

Anthony had no idea how scared Riley really was. He had been attacked on Campus more than once.

I had been sleeping on his bed, holding him in my arms since the very first night he'd moved to my dorm room. I saw him shaking and shivering and his eyes darting to the door every five minutes, so I had to ask him what was wrong.

I held him against my body that very same night and we slept like that.

Anthony was right about me going out of my way to protect Riley. I wasn't wasting my study time to be with him, but I was molding my life to fit into Riley's.

On Sunday, Daddy asked me if I had had sex with Riley already. I told him we had been sexual, but we hadn't penetrated each other yet.

Daddy asked me to start wearing a different dilator―it seemed more like a sex toy than anything medical―to stretch me if I'd let him enter me, unless I'd let him know about my scar so he'd be careful enough not to hurt me.

I had never thought about letting Riley enter me, but I was dying to do it to him. It wasn't that I loved him like I did Ant or Daddy, though.

Daddy commanded me to wear a condom, and of course I would.

The first time I fucked him was amazing. I could pound him hard, and his moans and cries drove me insane. His golden skin drew me in and as I moved in and out of his taut, round ass, I though what it would be like to be inside Daddy.

Fuck.

I wanted to be inside Daddy so bad it made me come hard inside Riley and into the condom.

Every time I fucked him, I thought of Daddy. I started needing him every night. I'd close my eyes and make love to Riley as I'd do with Dad.

I focused on not letting my relationship with Riley rule my world, though. I wouldn't sacrifice my studies over a boyfriend.

Riley was a nice guy. I liked spending time with him. We'd go to parties on Campus whenever we were free. We'd make out until our lips were swollen. I'd let him suck my cock dry almost every morning. I'd fuck him most nights. I thought that was what boyfriends were for.

* * *

**CPOV****  
**

I understood Edward's expression when he left on Sunday. He looked disappointed. To say the whole lunch situation on Saturday was unpleasant was an understatement.

I liked the boy. Riley.

He looked like a good boy. But he also looked like a love whore.

He seemed to be begging for attention the whole time, trying so hard to be accepted by everybody it made me pity him.

All I was afraid of was Edward having unprotected sex, but I thought I needed to trust him.

The effect that Riley's visit had on Anthony was devastating.

Three days in silence.

He'd do his school work, cook our food, draw and paint. He wouldn't answer me with more than hums, moans and only on a few rare occasions, monosyllables.

I was expecting tantrums, mess, hate mail in my inbox, demons on walls. But, there was nothing.

Somehow his silence was deafening. I'd rather have him flipping as he did when he saw Riley the first time.

_Edward had arrived with him and Anthony was taking a shower. He already knew Edward would bring a friend over for lunch. What he didn't know was that Edward was bringing a boyfriend home.__  
_

_We should have prepared him for that, but it was a last minute call and we just forgot. __  
_

_Anthony approached his brother and held Edward affectionately, but saw his hand holding Riley's, not really receiving Edward's full attention back as he used to whenever his brother arrived home. __  
_

_At that moment, I saw his eyes burning and I needed him to not embarrass his brother. He'd feel bad about it later and I knew I needed to prevent it from happening.__  
_

"_Edward, would you and Riley mind going to the store and buying some more milk, please?" __  
_

_Edward took the hint, observing his brother's change in demeanor. Anthony's face was feral. __  
_

_Edward pulled Riley by the hand and rushed out the back door to the garage as Anthony rushed to his room. __  
__I ran after Anthony, but he was faster.__  
_

_As I arrived in his bedroom, he was already tearing all his drawings apart, crying and shouting he hated being lied to, that he hated Edward and me, and that he would leave.__  
_

_I didn't have much time.__  
_

_I pulled him to my knees and could hardly pull his pants down. I spanked him as he cried and continued professing his hate for both Edward and me.__  
_

_I let my hand fall down on his ass hard and fast, until the "I hate you's" became "I love you's" and Anthony's shivering and crying took over his rage.__  
_

_I pulled him to my arms and held him tight. __  
_

_I apologized for not telling him the whole truth, admitted I was wrong, and kissed him all over his face, his lips, caressing his body all over. __  
_

_It was weird how I didn't feel self conscious while doing that to him. I'd only feel guilty later, I knew._

_But he needed me.__  
_

_Anthony crawled on top of me as I pulled myself up to the headboard of the bed.__  
_

_He pulled my fingers into his lips, covering it up with saliva. I knew why.__  
_

_Anthony pulled my shirt up, so his cock was on my belly, rubbing against my skin once I entered him with my fingers.__  
_

_I allowed him to hump me until he came, caressing his entrance with my finger.__  
_

_Letting him rest, I cleaned up and we went on with our disastrous day._

But this… this was new.

I couldn't handle his silence any more.

I waited for him to go to bed, settle for the night, and when I saw his bedroom light turning off, I walked in and lay beside him.

"Talk to me, Ant. I need to know what's on your mind."

"Edward is making a mistake. I can't watch."

My baby was growing up, I supposed.

"Baby, that's how people learn, by making mistakes." I reasoned with him.

"I don't. I make the same mistakes over and over again. I get spanked all the time because I don't learn."

"First, you don't get spanked all the time. When you do, it's 'cause you don't _want_ to learn. You like the attention you get when you throw your fits."

Anthony let out a small chuckle. But he was really quiet for a while.

"This is different," he pointed out, but said no more.

I let him fall asleep and moved to my bedroom slowly, my heart sore.

It felt like I had just fallen asleep when my bed dipped waking me up at the spot.

"What's going on, baby?" My voice was a little raspy. As I turned to look at him, I saw his eyes bathed in tears, his face scrunched and wet, "Please Daddy… Please!"

"What's wrong, Ant? What do you want?" I was scared, he looked haunted.

"Please Daddy… make is stop hurting. Please…" His voice was fading.

"Where are you hurting, baby?" I tried looking down at his face, but it was buried in my chest preventing me from doing it.

Anthony pulled my hand to his stomach where it met his chest; his body shook as he sobbed.

"What can I do to help, baby?"

"Daddy… Please… Show me you love me. Edward doesn't any more. I need to know someone loves me―"

"Edward loves you, baby, you know he does."

Still sobbing uncontrollably, making it hard for me to understand him, he shook his head no, saying, "He didn't come near me this weekend. He'd never done that before. He'd always come to love on me, Daddy. He's in love with that guy and he's ashamed of having me as a brother."

Jesus, now I was hurting. He was in pain for all the wrong reasons and there was nothing I could do to make him listen to me, to make him stop thinking his brother was embarrassed by him. That was the one thing I would never, ever believe.

"Baby, Edward loves you, and I love you―"

"Then show me," he whispered. I shivered. I knew what was coming next. I couldn't make myself move, though. I needed confirmation, hoping till the very last second he would ask for something other than what I thought.

"How, baby?"

"Make me yours, Daddy," he whispered.

My mind reeled. I wouldn't do that to Anthony, I just couldn't. He was my baby, my sweetheart.

But he was hurting, and the pain was so great it had changed him. He was not my adorable, raging rebellious kid anymore. He looked lost, shattered, as if he was missing a piece of himself.

In his mind, he had, I guessed.

I couldn't touch him the way he wanted me to. I had to have an alternative.

"Baby… why don't you make me yours instead?" I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

The only thing I ever had up my ass was a proctologist's finger during a rectal digital exam. My dad had had prostate cancer and I was a bit worried I'd have it too since I was young. I knew it was not common for a man to have it at such a young age, but I thought better safe than sorry.

I was a med student at the time, and knew I should just relax so my anus could be stretched, back then. It didn't really hurt.

I was scared half to death, but knew the whole mechanism and tried relaxing so I wouldn't get hurt.

I shouldn't have worried. Anthony was amazing.

I should be ashamed of myself, but I wasn't.

He undressed me, then himself.

My baby loved me with so much tenderness it made my heart melt.

He kissed me long and softly at first, running his lips down my body, kissing, licking and biting the whole way down to my hips.

Ant bit softly at my hipbones, licking his way down to my balls. He sucked me while preparing me. He was careful, stretching me for so long he almost made me come. The three fingers he had pumping inside me were not meeting any more resistance from my body on their way in.

Anthony let go of my cock and slid up, keeping his fingers inside me, making my right leg follow his body, and curling around him.

"How do you want it, Daddy?" He followed the question with a hard, bruising kiss that left me breathless.

"On my side…" I breathed against his lips.

I felt the head of his cock pressing against my anus. I felt it stretch me, making my ass clench involuntarily.

He felt it too.

"Daddy, you need to relax and let me in," he cooed.

Fuck!

I took a deep breath, nodded and he moved forward.

I felt my rim stretching, and pushed down making it easier to open up for him.

Anthony entered me and he was a lot thicker than the three fingers that would loosely glide in and out of me minutes before.

He kept pushing inside me slowly, letting me adjust to his size and girth. When I felt his pubes and balls hit my ass, I was so full… Dear, God!

I pulled his arm around me tight; he noticed I needed the contact. Anthony's chest was pressed on my back, his mouth reached my neck and he kissed there softly.

Soon we were moving together, in and out… in and out. I felt my ring of muscles tingling as his cock rubbed against it. My breathing was ragged; it was a mixture of pleasure and pain―sweet torture.

"Daddy… you feel so good around me… oh, so warm and tight." Anthony pulled me closer and bit my neck hard, pulling my head back by my hair, increasing the speed of his thrusts.

Suddenly, he changed the angle and all Hell broke loose! I felt his cock reaching my prostate and God if it didn't feel amazing!

His hand encased my cock and, as my body moved back and forth, I fucked his fist furiously.

My head was spinning out of control when I felt something burst inside me, my come shooting ahead, falling on the white sheets, the sensation so strong and powerful I felt like floating.

"Yeah, Daddy! Yeah… Feels so good, Daddy… ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" and I felt his warm come washing my insides as he kept pumping into me.

Soon, Anthony rolled me to my stomach, rolling with me, his legs straddling my hips as he kept fucking my ass really slowly.

I felt his hands massaging my buttocks and lower back. I glanced over my shoulder and saw him looking down at my ass, watching his penis sliding in and out of me.

"Daddy, you're so beautiful… so fucking beautiful. Your body swallows my cock so good… my milk is sliding out a bit."

"You feel amazing inside me too, baby." I was honest, he did. I had never had an orgasm like that, never gotten close to that.

Anthony laid on my back, bringing his mouth to my ear, "Daddy… I wanna make more milk inside you. Can you handle it?"

I nodded. He could have me. I was his―his and Edward's anyway.

Anthony started his moving inside me again, lay on my back, whispering in my ear.

"Now you'll let me love on you whenever I want, right, Daddy? Your hole is so tight, so perfect. I love you, Daddy… I know how hard it must have been to have given yourself to me… I know how much you love me now."

Anthony wrapped his arms around my torso and pounded my ass so hard I saw stars. My sensitive cock was rubbing on the sheets giving me some sort of relief.

I heard his growl as he came once more. I felt him relax on top of me, his breath fanning my neck; a few aftershocks shaking his body.

A few minutes later, Ant pulled himself up, and slid his cock out of my ass with his hand, pushing it right back in again. He was playing with his semen on my skin.

"Daddy… my milk looks so good on your ass."

"Yeah, baby?" I was knackered.

"Huh, huh." He said, still playing.

"Baby… why do you say you make milk?" I asked. Despite my tiredness, I was curious about it.

"All the other alternatives suck."

"What do you mean?"

"Make semen? Orgasm? Come? Why would anyone even call it come? Milk is good for you…white, clean, just like semen, without the ugly name."

God, I loved him.

I fell asleep with him still playing with his… milk, on my ass.

* * *

"Dad.." Edward sounded weary on the phone a Thursday night.

His finals were over and I thought that, maybe, his upcoming separation from Riley for the holidays was weighing on him. I just wouldn't expect what was coming.

"Dad… would you be disappointed at me if… If I quit living on campus?" he finally finished.

"What happened, son? Have you broken up with Riley? Are things uncomfortable being roommates with him?"

"Dad… That, too. But it's not that. I'm tired of living here, Dad. I know I was supposed to be closer to school and have a college student's life… I'm tired of that. And yes, I broke up with Riley a few days ago, but it's not 'cause of that I wanna move back home. I miss you… I miss Anthony. I miss coming back home to you."

He sounded so sad I decided to cheer him up a bit. We'd need time so we could decide what to do.

"You're hungry, aren't you?" I laughed at my own joke, "That's what you wanna come home to! You wanna have a meal on the table when you come back from school." and I laughed some more.

"Something like that, Dad… something like that." He chuckled.

"Your brother will be happy," I commented.

"What about you? Will you be happy, too?" he cooed his question.

Emotion took over me, and it was hard to speak.

"You have no idea how happy you will make me, coming home, Son."

* * *

"We can move," I breathed as we discussed the commuting plan for the next term, Edward and I.

"Dad… UW is nowhere near your work… you'd have to―"

"I was invited to work at the Northwestern," I blurted out.

"What? When was that?" Edward rushed to ask, his eyes wide open, probably imagining I'd be working at the hospital he would be studying someday in the near future.

"I was called there just last week. I was inclined on declining their offer."

"Why, Dad?" he sounded a little outraged.

"I'd work less hours. Make less money. Be in your way. I wanted you to feel independent, the way I felt the day I came to study in Seattle."

Edward shook his head no.

"What?"

"I don't want to be independent if I'll have to be away from you." Edward paused and pensive enquired, "Would it be a setback on your career?"

"It's a little bitter sweet, actually. I always wanted to do my residency there, but I wanted surgery and the spot was taken. Now it's good to have my skills recognized by them. It won't be a setback, no. It's more responsibility since it's a teaching Hospital… I'd be spending more time with you guys, at least. Money is not really a big issue."

"Daddy, I don't want you to change anything because of me. I don't mind the commute."

"It would be a good change of scenery for Anthony, too. He's finishing high school. Maybe he could enroll in an art program at U Dub, or something."

Edward's eyes lit up.

"We could find a house with a studio for Anthony. He's been sleeping with me since his bedroom stinks of oil paint."

"Come here, Kiddo." I pulled Edward into my arms and he held me close, so close.

"Thanks, Daddy… I love you."

"Love you, too, son."

* * *

**AN/ As usual, reviews are so welcome!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN/**

**It's with sadness in my heart I announce this is the last chapter before the Epilogue. I truly loved writing the story, and will miss re-reading and posting it every week. Thanks for the ones who had the guts to review it *winks*. I appreciated every one of them so much! Now, let's move on.**

**Warning:**

This story deals with incest. There will be mentions of past rape and child abuse. If you don't wish to read about any of it, please, don't do it then. As I'm sure you will not want to waste your time reading something you don't care about. I also don't want to waste my time reading reviews that comment on how deranged the story is. I love it anyway!

**I need to thank my Irish Sister, who betaed this story and who made me so enthusiastic about posting it.**

* * *

**EPOV**

Anthony was sleeping with Daddy?

The times we slept the three of us, it was a struggle to keep his hands off Dad! How come now they were sleeping together in Daddy's bedroom?

I felt a pang of jealousy hit me hard. Why hadn't Ant moved to my room instead, if his room smell of oil paint was so unbearable?

I was restless and tried to calm down, and re-think, rearrange my thoughts.

I knew Dad was again remodeling his whole life because of me, because I wanted to come home. He was willing to change jobs even! That was even a bigger change in his life.

That alone should be reason enough for me to calm the fuck down and stop being jealous. Anthony needed the contact; I'd always known that―especially when I was not around as much.

God! I hated feeling that way.

* * *

Anthony was not pleased to know we were moving.

He was used to the surroundings of our neighborhood. We'd always had company while walking around the streets close to the home we lived, before moving to Daddy's house. When we moved to Daddy's, I had always been with him during the months before the school year started. There was plenty of time to discover and explore the new place. Learning his way around would be a challenge for him for sure.

As we looked at pictures online of new houses for purchase on the surroundings of U Dub, Anthony would scrunch his nose at every one of them. His mood was also foul. I was expecting him to throw a tantrum at any moment, but it never happened.

Once he was sick of it, he stood up and walked away.

Daddy's face showed a look of concern, his brows creased, but he didn't move from where he was seated.

We selected a few houses to go see, and as we finished, dad stood up, turned to the kitchen, made some hot chocolate, brought me a mug, then walked straight upstairs taking another mug with him.

I got curious.

I climbed the stairs a few moments after Dad.

Anthony's room door was open, but there was no one in. I walked to Dad's and saw them both sitting in bed. Dad's eyes were closed, his lips moving on Anthony's sensually. His right hand was caressing Ant's hair, his other arm holding him close.

I saw moist on Anthony's face. It was weird watching him crying so softly—no loud desperation or raging anger.

Anthony let out a sigh of contentment that soothed me, keeping at bay the jealousy that was eating me inside.

Daddy pulled back a little, and I could hear him speak softly, "It's gonna be okay, baby. You have nothing to worry about, okay? We'll try to move before the holidays so both Edward and I will be able to walk you around, and get familiar with the neighborhood. I'll delay my start at the hospital if you need more time, okay?"

"I'm so scared, Daddy. I… We're so happy here. What if things change in the new place? What if…"

"Nothing's gonna change, baby. I promise you. We'll find a great house with a place for your studio, a nice garden… would you like to take care of the garden?" Daddy's voice was so soft and calming. I watched as Anthony nodded.

I understood what he was doing; he was including Anthony in the plans. So far the new house purpose was to accommodate my coming back home and being closer to Dad's new job, so Anthony would to simply tag along. The studio was nothing he didn't really have at home since his whole bedroom had been turned into one.

The house we lived didn't really have a nice yard to start a garden or anything. Our door was close to the side walk and the back held only a barbecue place.

Anthony had to quit dealing with gardening as he was used to in the home. Maybe the garden idea was good. I noticed all the houses we picked to go check had nice ones.

Anthony's face was lowered, eyes on his hands as he played with his fingers absent-mindedly. Daddy's hand caressed Anthony's cheek as he went on, "I promise nothing is going to change between us."

Anthony looked up instantly as he shot, "Promise?"

Suddenly my jealousy turned into a river of molten lava, stirring inside me, ready to erupt!

I ran down the stairs in such a rush I didn't care about making noise and alerting Dad and Anthony.

* * *

**CPOV**

After caressing Anthony's hair until he fell asleep, I went downstairs looking for Edward to let him know Anthony was fine.

I couldn't find him anywhere.

Looking for a not—where he would have written where he had gone—I found none.

Worry took over my mind. Edward had never done that.

I called his cell and, after getting the voice mail message a few times, Edward finally answered me.

"Where are you, Son?" I asked.

"I'm... around." His voice was pained. Had he been drinking?

"Tell me exactly where you are. I'm coming to get you."

"Why would you? Ant is home… you don't have to worry about me," Edward replied in a lazy drunken voice.

I got furious! Edward never drank. Whatever it was we had to deal with, we could do it together. There was no need for him to go drink down his sorrows.

"Listen to me Edward Cullen! You will tell me NOW where you are. I'm coming to pick you up, do you hear?"

I huffed as I waited for his answer, "Yeah…"

He gave me the address and I picked him up and drove him home.

He was really far away from home, and it scared me to think he had walked there.

Edward slept the whole way home. I helped him up to his room, laid him down on his bed, and when I kissed his forehead, I felt his hand holding my wrist.

"Stay a while?" he asked me.

I lay down behind him and ended up falling asleep too.

* * *

When I woke up, I saw those two greenish-blue eyes staring at me. I smiled at him and caressed his cheek.

"Why do you love Anthony more than me?" Edward's voice cracked and his eyes watered, shattering my heart in a million pieces at the thought of how painful it could be for him to think that way.

"I don't… why would you even think that, Son?" He didn't seem to listen to what I had just said.

"Is it because he is all cute, being so dependent, and needing so much attention all the time?" he went on.

I kissed his forehead bringing him closer to me so I could hold him tight.

"Edward, you are so fucking special, kid… so fucking special. I love you so much it hurts inside, Son." I felt my eyes burn with tears.

"Then… why do you only show it to Anthony? How come you―"

"Shhhhh… You never needed me to, Son." I held him closer and caressed his hair and back.

"I need you now." I heard his voice low and guttural, raw and needy.

It had never crossed my mind that Edward needed my touch so much—as much as Anthony.

Ant was more vocal and showed it a lot more. Edward was quiet, more pensive and contemplative.  
I never expected him to attack me the way he did, once I gave in and moved to kiss him.

His lips and tongue were hot and demanding. He plunged his tongue into my mouth in a feral invasion. Soon he was on top of me, his eyes wide open, his gaze burning into mine.

I let Edward love on me. His want and need drove him almost to despair as he touched every bit of me, kissed every inch of my skin, biting my lips, my chin, my collar bones.

I closed my eyes and felt him all over me. His hard, young muscles rubbing on my body as he took our clothes off and laid his body on top of mine―his penis and mine touched and I felt his arm circling behind my back to pull me even closer, moving his body against mine. Sweet friction gave me some relief.

Edward's legs settled between mine and, supporting his knees on the mattress, Edward moved hard and fast against me.

"Hold them together," he huskily whispered as he looked down at our cocks rubbing.

I took both our cocks at hand and jerked us off. Edward's movements were frantic and erratic, his mouth never leaving my body. His bites were beginning to hurt, but they felt so, so good at the same time.

My left hand gravitated to Edward's ass. I hardly thought of what I was doing. As I grabbed his cheek and pulled him to me, he came hard, releasing a strangled cry as his warm load of come sprayed on my hand, abs and chest.

It was enough to set my body off too. I came while still pumping his semen out.

As my hand stilled, I felt Edward's lips down my jaw, seeking for my lips, gently now, softy.

"You got me scared…" I cooed against his lips, "I've never seen you overreact before."

"I'm sorry, Dad… I never felt this out of control before either. It's just that… The only two people that really matter to me are you and Ant. I felt like…"

He paused and couldn't find the words.

"Like you were being left out?" I completed his though for him.

"Yeah… exactly." He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Edward look at me." He lifted his eyes to me and I went on, "I wanted you to be free to choose. I wanted you to have options."

"I understand, Dad. You didn't want Anthony to rule my world as he used to. I know."

"Exactly."

"If I tell you something, would you please let me finish? I don't want you to jump to conclusions," he requested showing a vulnerability I'd hardly ever seen before.

"I hope you are not my biological father. I do, because I know how bad that would make you feel for being intimate with us." He paused, seeming to try and gauge my reaction. "I know these things, these taboos, are hard to break in your mind."

"I adopted you. Being your birth dad won't matter, I'm still your father." I felt my voice crack as I took in the meaning of what I had just said.

"I know that's how you feel, but… but you've only met us a little while ago. We were already fully grown teenagers… sort of. I mean, you didn't raise us from when we were children."

"I know, but―"

"I've never known a man as special as you Dad. I never will, and I don't really want to. I loved it that you are my Daddy, that you take care of me in every way, that you worry. I love that feeling. But I also have some other feelings I've always had for you, even before I knew of the possibility of you being my dad."

I swallowed a rock down my throat waiting for him to finish, because I just wouldn't know what to say.

"I love you since I woke up that day in the hospital. I don't know how to differentiate that kind of love from paternal love, from romantic love. It's all a big mess in my head, like… What kind of love would be more important than others? What I feel for Anthony? What I feel for you? What I felt for Riley?"

It was really a question this time, not just ramblings, and he pursed his lips as he waited for an answer from me.

"I think… It depends. You have to ask yourself who you don't wanna live without because you would miss the person too much, I suppose."

"Then why would you let me go, be free, live a life apart from yours?" God, he had it all thought of.

"Son, when we love someone, we set them free. If we hold the person down and cut their wings, they'll be with you, but only because they can't go anywhere else, not because they are happy to be there. I want you to be whoever you wanna be, I want you to go where you wanna go."

Edward snuggled into me, face buried in the crook of my neck, "This is exactly where I wanna be."

I held him and stayed there a while longer, breathing him in, trying to rearrange my thoughts and beliefs to what my heart had established already.

* * *

"You've been with Edward," Anthony commented. I froze, afraid he'd freak out. "Thank God… now he won't look like a stray dog around us anymore."

"How do you know?"

"Bite marks?" he answered scooping a spoon of Fruit Loops to his lips.

* * *

We ended up finding a great house that had just been remodeled in Bryant. The house was spacious and light. There were barely any furnishings apart from the kitchen. When we walked into the large hardwood floored living room, we came across the wide French doors that lead to a deck facing the side garden ahead of us. The three of us looked at each other with a knowing smile―that was it, our new home.

The garage would be turned into Anthony's studio so the smell of paint wouldn't flood the house as it used to in the previous one. He loved how high the ceiling was, and how much more wall space he'd have so he could hang his paintings. Soon a scout from the School of Art would come over to evaluate the body of Anthony's work and decide if he could be a student there. The man was already impressed with the sketches that were sent together with his application forms.

Anthony was showing no excitement, but I knew he was afraid of showing interest only to be disappointed if he didn't get in.

There were four bedrooms upstairs; every one of them had an ensuite bathroom―the only problem in the house, way too many bathrooms.

We decided to move as soon as possible, but packing was a challenge.

Anthony had way too much stuff.

We'd take almost all of our furniture. The single beds from the boy's rooms would be placed in the extra bedroom. My old queen-sized bed would be in Edward's, and we bought another queen-sized bed for Anthony's room.

For my bedroom… Well, I bought a bed big enough―a California King sized bed.

While packing my own stuff, I decided to clean up—there was too much I would never need any more.

Reaching for the stuff on my desk, I was faced with the ghost again: the locked drawer.

It paralyzed me.

Should I unlock the drawer or not?

I could unlock it and just throw the envelopes away―or I could open them.

Why would I open them?

I'd promised the boys nothing would ever change between us. So opening the envelopes would make it harder for me to keep my promise, once I found out the results were positive for the paternity tests.

On the other hand, if I found out the other way around, I'd feel less … wrong. Still, I'd feel guilty for attracting them to my web, for not being strong enough to bring their life to normality. My only relief was for the fact that none of the therapists that had tried, had succeeded in reverting the consequences of their early sexualization.

I had to admit I never had the courage to look for another doctor, afraid and worried by all the things my twins were capable of, by the way their minds worked, and how strongly they believed in how love should be shown and experienced.

I was afraid of being judged for complying with their needs for physical and sexual contact.

Suddenly I realized I hated that drawer. I wanted that drawer destroyed―the drawer and its content.  
I also found out I didn't care for the desk as a whole.

"Boys… Boys!" I shouted from my den.

Anthony cascaded down the stairs as Edward walked in with a pot of ice-cream on his hand, holding a spoon in his mouth.

"Ice-cream again, Edward?" I pointed out.

"Can't do a thing about it… you let Anthony do the shopping last week, there are at least four more of these there… and we can't throw away ice-cream…" Edward responded between licks on the spoon.

"Why can't we throw away ice-cream?" I enquired.

"You just can't, Daddy," Anthony replied and Edward nodded. "And we gotta empty the fridge, and that's Edward's job. Why did you call us?" Ant asked going through some papers on top of my desk.

"We need to burn this desk… it's full of termites," I answered.

"It's illegal to burn stuff outdoors in the State of Washington, Daddy," Edward retorted.

"How do you know that?"

"School… Ecology," Edward full-mouthed muttered.

Shit.

I needed to get rid of those envelopes without the need to touch them.

Okay, now the boys were hanging in my office. I had everything boxed but the damn envelopes sitting in the desk drawer.

I tried not looking at the drawer, thinking of what to do. I couldn't just leave the desk there with the envelopes in it. Someone would find them and would end up sending them over to us.

"What's in this drawer, Daddy?" My eyes moved to Anthony, who was fumbling with the stupid drawer, trying to open it.

"Dad? You okay?" Edward came closer to me, touching my shoulder, snapping me out of it.

"I'm… I'm fine." I tried.

"Why is the drawer locked, Daddy? Whatcha got in there?" Anthony wouldn't quit.

I grimaced.

"Jeeeezzz… must be bad, Ant. Dad looks like he's gonna puke. It's the DNA test results, isn't it?"

My eyes almost shot out of their sockets! How did Edward know?

"I knew it…had tried unlocking it for a long time."

I was speechless.

"How… How… how'd ya―"

"I got the call from the Lab saying they were ready… all these years ago. You've never opened them, have you?" Edward smirked at me. God he was beautiful. I just shook my head no.

"DNA tests? I never knew about any DNA tests!" Anthony protested.

"I'm sorry… I never wanted them. Just did it because my lawyer was such a prick." I finally found my voice again.

"But you never opened them," Edward noted.

"I just told him you two were my kids. He didn't really need to read the results. At least he never asked."

"I wanna know," Anthony blurted out.

"Me too," Edward agreed.

"Noooooooooo," I protested, "No one is going to read anything! Know anything! Things have been good so far, we don't need to know."

"I still wanna know," Edward spoke.

"Me, too!" Anthony added.

Shit.

"You know what? Here's the key… Just don't tell me, I don't wanna know, okay?"

Edward took the key and rushed to unlock the damn thing.

Each of them took their own envelope and opened them at the same time.

I stood across the room, walking nervously back and forth as their eyes were attached to the paper.

Edward looked towards me, then Anthony who glanced back at him with a smirk on his face. Edward smirked back and that was it.

Both ran out of the room, chasing one another to the living room, throwing the envelopes and results into the lit fireplace.

As the results burned, they laughed out loud wickedly, starting a tickle fight on the floor.

What did that mean? Did it mean I was their dad or wasn't?

Shit.

I just looked at them wrestling on the floor and thought I was so fucking lucky to have them in my life.

* * *

**AN/ Reviews are so welcome!**


	6. Epilogue

**AN/**

Okay! This is it! The epilogue. It's really sort of an idea of what their lives turned out to be and will be from then on.

I hope you have enjoyed the ride and will remember my twins and my favorite Daddy with warmth in your heart.

I hope you enjoy the last bits of their story!

**Warning:**

This story deals with **incest**. There will be** mentions of past rape and child abuse.** If you don't wish to read about any of it, please, don't do it then. As I'm sure you will not want to waste your time reading something you don't care about. I also don't want to waste my time reading reviews that comment on how deranged the story is. I love it anyway!

**I need to thank my Irish Sister, who betaed this story and who made me so enthusiastic about posting it.**

* * *

**Epilogue**

I was surprised when Anthony and Edward walked to their rooms for the night.

We had organized the mess we had made with the move, so it made sense―we were dead tired anyway.

"Shit", I cursed as the thought that bed was too large just for me crossed my mind. I was a bit disappointed they didn't come lie down with me. The TV was not up on the wall yet, so no movies.

I fell asleep hoping Anthony wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night and freak out because he was somewhere he didn't know. He had been so much more mature lately, though. He had been keeping control of his moods, and I was so proud of him.

* * *

"Take his boxers off," I heard someone whispering low and husky as I felt lips touching mine, and a hard body pressing against me. I lifted my hand to his neck and found the mole just below the hairline―Edward.

Moist, warm, slender fingers hooked on the waistband of my underwear, pulling them down. I felt the cold air hit my ass, and felt exposed and so, so good to feel that way.

"We missed'ya," Edward mumbled against my lips, pulling my head closer, my mouth deeper into the kiss, as his hands started caressing my penis and his together.

Anthony parted my cheeks and blew a little bit of air against my crease, following by licking from my scrotum up to my lower back.

Fuck!

My cock twitched non-stop. His tongue kept swirling around my entrance, tantalizing me, making me whimper and cry softly for their attentions.

"Daddy… we decided we're gonna have a new life from now on." I heard Edward murmur in my ear, "We're your partners from now on. You're stuck with us."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked, my eyes rolling to the back of my head, Edward was now biting on my nipples as Anthony was slowly fingering me.

"Hum, hum," he hummed, not letting go of my nub.

"You are ours, now," he commented while going from a nipple to another.

"Fuuuuuckk…" Everything was driving me insane—their ministrations, Edward's words, the idea of having them forever.

"This is our wedding night, Daddy." I heard Anthony say behind me, shooting a jolt of electricity up my spine, making me shiver.

I felt Edward's mouth slide south of my body, his hand still pumping my cock.

"Daddy… you're going to take Anthony now, okay? He's ready for you."

Something inside of me fluttered, I'd never done that. I'd never been inside either of my boys.

Edward pulled me to my knees as Anthony moved to lay face down, where I was.

"I wanna look at him," I whispered.

"This is how he likes it, Daddy."

Edward lubed up my cock and guided me into Anthony. It felt like I was high on something―high on lust, maybe.

As I breached his ring, I felt it so tight, so hot. Edward pushed me slowly, guiding me, showing me how Anthony liked it, "Yeah, Daddy… just like that."

I couldn't think, I couldn't close my eyes―the images were too beautiful to be taken for granted. Anthony's left cheek was on the pillow, his lazy smile spread across his face, his hands fisting the sheets as he moaned and whimpered just for me.

My breathing was erratic, so were my heartbeats. When I felt the intrusion of Edward's cock inside me, I moaned loudly, unable to keep all the pain and pleasure at bay.

"Fuck… your ass is so beautiful, Dad… so beautiful swallowing my cock. I wish you could see it."

Edward's sweet torture, pumping inside me slowly, was already driving me insane. Soon I felt Edward's finger sliding inside me together with his cock. I didn't know what he had in mind, but I loved feeling so stretched.

Edward added another finger every few minutes.

When he got the fourth finger inside me, around his cock, I came furiously! I let out a loud cry and it was difficult to breathe through it; it felt so good!

Edward didn't take his fingers from inside me for a while. Shortly I'd know why.

Sliding out of me, Ed pulled me up enough so Anthony could roll over to his back. Edward laid me on top of Anthony again. Guiding Antony's cock inside me—impaling me on Ant's penis. Edward smirked non-stop, his chin resting on my shoulder, looking down at my torso. He was enjoying this too much, watching me come undone in their hands.

I leaned down and kissed Anthony silly, needing the contact I hadn't had before.

As Anthony pumped inside me from below, Edward's fingers invaded me again carefully.

"Daddy… I'm gonna enter you too, okay?" I heard Edward saying from behind me as he slid his fingers out, and the head of his cock started stretching me even more.

It burned, it ached; it felt like I was being split in half! But both of them kept caressing me, kissing and licking my skin, trying to distract me from the pain.

I didn't care. I had them both inside me. I loved it.

"Daddy… You feel so good… I'm so close. We won't take long," Anthony cooed, and Edward agreed with a hum.

In a few more thrusts, one came after the other, long and hard. Their noises drove me to numbness—they could just be there, inside me, all night for all I cared. Their come mixed inside me, creaming my walls, making their cocks slip out eventually.

Lying on our sides, they held me close, both caressing me, playing with their milk coming out of me.

Fingers went in and out, hands caressed my penis, my balls, spreading sperm all over my pelvis.

Lips kissed and tongues licked, making a mess of saliva on our faces.

* * *

Since we had a wedding night, I decided I would make "honest men out of them". That thought made me chuckle.

I went to a jewelers store and bought three matching platinum rings. Inside each of the boy's rings, I had the message "I belong to Carlisle" engraved; inside mine, "I belong to my boys."

I didn't make a fuss about it when I gave them the rings. They just slid them onto their fingers and went on with their day.

I liked it. A lot.

At night, Anthony was already asleep when Edward was laying half on top of me, his back on my chest as I was leaning on the headboard. Playing with my hands between his, he started a conversation.

"Dad… Should we call you Carlisle, now? I mean… You mean a lot more than just a Dad to me."

I thought that my suspicions were confirmed―the boys were probably not my biological sons and they knew it.

"Would you like that?" I had to ask.

"I'd love that. You look too young to be called Dad at the supermarket isle anyway." I didn't have an answer for that. I looked way too young to be their father. "Sometimes I wonder how our lives would have been if we hadn't met you… If you hadn't found us," he continued.

"Really? And how do you think it'd have been?" I was curious.

"I think we would have killed each other." He chuckled. "You deal with Anthony so much better than I do, Dad, I mean Carlisle." He paused for a while and went on, "Your life would have been so much better without us, though."

"Hey!" I pinched him on the arm, "Where did that come from? Why would you even think that?" I was surprised with his statement.

"Dad… I loved you since the very beginning. I loved being taken care of by you. I loved the idea to live with you and be around you all the time. You had to change houses, change jobs, break up with your girlfriend and choose carefully who you could be close to because of us. You had to change stuff that was working. We got this great life and you had to adjust to us, and what do we do, then? We seduced you in return. We make you go against everything you believe is right to satisfy our needs."

"Jesus, Edward…" I let out a sigh as I combed my hair with my fingers, "you couldn't be more wrong, son. I love you two; my life could never be better if it wasn't for you. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not just like your first adoptive father—"

"Don't say that, Dad!" Edward huffed and puffed, and when he calmed down he went on, "I understand now what you and some other people said about him, including the psychologists. I took a few lectures at the psychology department and I get it now. He couldn't have awakened our sexuality. Besides us being too young for that, he was an adult who should be protecting our innocence and not lighting the fire. He couldn't have touched us, not even if we had asked him to. We were children… we didn't know what we were asking for."

I caressed his hair thinking Edward finally accepted the truth. I knew I would never be able to convince Anthony of that, but having Edward know what their Papa had done was wrong made me feel a relief I never thought possible.

I waited quietly; he wasn't finished.

"Don't ever say you are anything like him. He seduced us, made us feel safe with him and then took advantage. He was sick, completely out of his mind. But you… you would have never made a move on us. It took years and a lot of begging for us to have you as we wanted, as we needed you. We are adults now. We know exactly what we are doing, exactly what we want."

"Anthony is still a child in―"

"No, he's not. Not anymore. Thanks to you. Thanks to the patience you always had with him, and the tenderness and care… He grew up because he knew you'd be there for him. He's a man now, Dad."

* * *

**EPOV**

Carlisle would never know how great he's always been to Anthony and me. Our lives turned around completely after we met him.

I couldn't imagine what would have happened to us both if he hadn't shown up and adopted us.

He became our angel in so many different ways.

I used to think things would turn out okay because Anthony and I would have one another once we needed to leave the home. I really didn't have the first clue on how life could be hard on you once you were on your own.

I always liked Miss. Olivia, but I knew she was there because it was her job. Someday she would just leave and we'd be missing a piece of our hearts all over again if we'd let our hearts really love her.

I never remembered much about before being adopted that first time. My first memories stuck when Maman arrived to tell us she was pregnant and we'd have a little sister―she was so sure she'd adopt us and we'd be hers like the baby she had in her belly.

When it all came to the ground, we were lost for so long, and so scared. Fear was always our companion.

When Carlisle started coming to the home, I used to look at him from a distance, before having any contact with him, before that time I got sick. I used to get goose bumps every time our eyes met. He was beautiful. His dark hair, and his blue eyes… the shape of his face, his straight, long nose.

I already knew I was gay. I'd never wanted to touch a girl in the home, but Carlisle… I almost prayed so I would get sick for me to feel his caring hands on me.

But when I finally did get sick, I felt like what having a parent was like, with him sitting by me all those days in the hospital. But I never wanted him to be my parent.

I wanted him to be mine.

I tried hard to play the "son" part. I'd do anything he'd ask me to, needing his attention and whatever kind of love he was willing to give me.

I knew Anthony wanted, needed him too. I knew he loved us, and I made an effort not to lose him as a parent at least.

After a long while, everything fell into place, and Carlisle was ours.

I could never be happier.

The new house was spacious and light. Our lives became lighter too.

The neighbors were all new. We hardly had any time to socialize. If any of them were snoopy bastards, they could check our mail and find out we all had the same last name. I bet they'd think we were brothers.

I'd been trying to take the load off Carlisle's back a little; I did house work and shopping, and managing the cars. I've been trying to be helpful, and Anthony had been in it too. We were partners after all.

I still laughed at the first time someone tried to tempt me after our commitment to each other.

There was this med student, Jasper Whitlock, who I used to see before moving and committing to Carlisle for good.  
The first time he'd chased after me was when I still dated Riley.

He followed me around for so long, trying to catch my eye―it was even funny.

Once I broke up with Riley I decided to give the cowboy a chance.

Yeah, he was from Texas, and wore a Stetson and boots too.

The guy was all sorts of delicious with his southern drawl, his baby blue eyes and honey skin.

The first time we attempted to be physical, he tried to top me and I fled.

He ran after me for weeks, trying everything in his power to convince me to bottom for him, but I wouldn't budge, until he caved in and offered to bottom for me.

I had never fucked a man with long hair. I liked pulling on his wavy strands a lot! He was such a bottom for someone who claimed to be strictly a top. He enjoyed it way too much! And so did I!

We fucked some times and when I asked Carlisle to move back home I was fed up with him already.

We were living in the new house, with the new resolution for three months when Jasper decided to chase after me again.

He was the first person I ever told I was married.

He wouldn't believe me.

A few months in and he asked to be my friend. I was suspicious he was not convinced I was married, despite the ring and the addition of Carlisle's last name to mine. The latter happened when we were adopted, but he wouldn't know, would he?

One night he offered me a ride home. It was cold as Hell. I ended up accepting because I was afraid of not finding a cab, having to walk home in the cold weather―my car was in the shop.

Once we got home, Jasper asked me if he could get in and warm up a little. I said it was okay.

As we walked in, he was flustered by the image of Anthony at the door―he didn't know I had a twin brother.

I introduced them and called Anthony on my way to the kitchen, asking him what he was making that smelled so good.

Arriving in the kitchen, I whispered to Anthony my request―to pretend I was Carlisle's husband, just me, because the man in the living room wanted me and I didn't know what else to do to prove to him I was married.

Anthony agreed opening a huge naughty smirk—he'd always loved role playing.

Carlisle came home an hour later and welcomed Jasper, inviting him for dinner.

I whispered the plan to Carlisle who nodded.

It was so fucking funny!

Carlisle started calling me sugar, winking at me during dinner, smiling like a fool at every stupid thing I'd say.

We left Jasper and Anthony alone as we collected the dirty dishes and took them to the kitchen.

We were quiet, trying to overhear what they were saying:

Jasper: "So, your brother is married to Dr. Cullen?"

Anthony: "Yeah… But Edward won't let me move to my own place to leave them alone."

Jesus! Anthony was really into this role play thing!

Jasper: "And do you like living with them?"

Anthony: "It's cool… when Carlisle is not home. Because when he is, they fuck like rabbits."

I gasped! Anthony had quite an imagination!

Jasper: "Really? So… you have to hear'em and all?"

Anthony: "Yeah… I do. They are screamers, you know."

Anthony's voice was so nonchalant, so natural. He was not only a great painter, but seemed to be a wonderful actor too!

Jasper: "I'd never tell, you know."

Anthony: "Yeah… I bet they're touching in the kitchen. I bet someone's hand is down the other's pants."

Jasper: "Ya think?" pause "Let's have a look?"

Playfully, Carlisle pulled me behind him, opening his pants. My hand flew into his boxers and the motherfucker was hard already. I forgot to inform him that Jasper was a med student and could be Carlisle's student one day.  
Oh, well. At least he'd know to not make a move on my man.

I pulled up his shirt a bit so I could pinch his nipple. When I could see the reflection of Anthony's and Jasper's heads popping in at the door to the kitchen on the stainless steel refrigerator door, the scene was there for them to see―Carlisle fucking my fist, moaning and gasping at my touch, his head leaning on my shoulder; me humping him from behind.

When we got back to the dining room, Anthony was laughing like a maniac.

"He left! He got so nervous he left!" he informed us in between giggles.

"He must be masturbating somewhere close… Let's hope the police don't catch him." Carlisle smiled amused.

That night, though, a little before bed time, Anthony came to Carlisle and asked him for a spanking.

"Please, Daddy. I deserve it."

Carlisle pulled him to sit on his lap, his legs dangling on Carlisle's side, his head on Carlisle's shoulder.

"Why, sweetie? Tell me." Carlisle's voice was soft and forgiving, as usual.

"I… I was hard for Edward's friend, and I shouldn't have been," he murmured.

The whole scene was endearing. My brother had never been so calm and centered. He had matured a lot and most times we could almost forget he had any mental developmental issues.

Right then, though, we could see how much he still needed guidance, comfort, grounding―just like a child.

"Baby, it's out of your control. It's your body responding to the sight of someone you found attractive."

"Daddy, please! I need it! I feel awful. I need to be punished. Please…"

Carlisle looked at me, and I nodded.

"Where, baby? In your room?" Carlisle almost chocked the words.

Anthony shook his head no, saying "Here…"

He wanted me to see. He was probably feeling like he betrayed Carlisle and me.

"Okay…"

Anthony stood up, turned around, pulled down his pants and boxers and leaned on Carlisle's legs.

"How many, baby?"

"Ten."

As Carlisle spanked his ass, Anthony tried to muffle his moans and gasps. His eyes poured the whole time.  
It broke my heart.

It was weird how Anthony responded to spanking. It was almost as if he had his soul cleansed after that.

When we were seven we'd both be spanked. Anthony would make messes and get in trouble, but I would never tell Papa it was him, so we were both punished. I hated it. It was the only time I'd feel angry, wishing to be back at the home. But Anthony…

After the last stroke, Anthony wouldn't let Carlisle hold him. He was still crying. He stood up and went to his room.  
We gave him some time alone, but followed him there. He was still crying on his bed when we reached his room.

I wondered how come he had never had an erection for someone else before. Maybe he had never imagined himself with someone else before.

Shit! I got hard any time Jasper was around me, even now that I didn't really want to fuck him again.

We lay down on the bed where Ant was laid on his side. I attached myself to his back, Carlisle to his front.

"Baby, it's natural to be hard around a cute guy, okay? This will not be the last time it happens." I heard Carlisle saying.

Ant shook his head no, but said nothing.

"What's important is that you didn't try to seduce him, you didn't act following your body's will. You were fine the whole time. You behaved like a gentleman." Carlisle went on.

"I wanted to. I fucked him in my mind," Anthony spoke. Carlisle chuckled and responded, "We all did, baby."

I lifted on my elbow to look at Carlisle with scandalized wide saucer eyes.

"Oh! Don't tell me you didn't!" he spat at me.

Well, I hadn't, not that night. Maybe, because I had done that in real life, and he didn't star on any of my fantasies any more.

"Anthony, Jasper is all kinds of beautiful. The cowboy look, the way he talks, his eyes actually sparkle…" he trailed off. "We are men. Men like fucking. What we need to understand is that we are safe if we only make love to whom we really love. And I really love you and Edward."

"I really love you and Edward, too." Anthony answered—my brother was so adorable.

Carlisle moved closer to him and held him tight. I did the same. He was the meat in our sandwich.

Soon, Ant fell asleep; he wasn't crying any more, which was good.

We let him sleep there that night.

Lying in our bed in the master suite, holding each other close, I relished in the contact I had with Carlisle's body. My hands roamed every inch of skin I could reach. I was a little agitated at the thought of Carlisle feeling attracted to Jasper. I was a little jealous and needing some reassurance.

"Carlisle,"

"Hum?"

"I need you to be my Daddy again," I whispered feeling a little shy.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I have a fantasy with you I want to come true now."

"Tell me. Anything dirty?" He chuckled.

"Sort of… yeah… I want you to prep me the way you did when you treated me."

I felt his cock twitch against my hip.

"Go on," he instructed.

"But… but instead of placing the dilator, I want your cock in me."

Carlisle tensed a little. I knew he had always been afraid of being inside me.

"It's going to be okay. You won't hurt me. Anthony never did."

"Lemme think." He took a deep breath and went on, "I'll place the dilator, but I'll make love to you when I take it out."

"Even better. But I wanna role play."

"As you wish, Edward."

"I need you to play your role, too. You're my Daddy, okay?" I smirked, feeling all kinds of naughty. We had never role played together.

As Carlisle stood up to get what he needed, I prepared to act as I would in my fantasy.  
"Roll to your side, baby." I heard him ask.

"Daddy, is it gonna hurt?"

"Just a little, sweet pea. Just a little."

I felt his tentative finger lubing me up, invading my hole slowly, and spreading the cold gel inside me. He swirled his finger around before pulling it out.

"Ohh… It hurts, Daddy, it hurts!" I gasped at the intrusion of the dilator.

"Ssssshhh… It'll stop hurting, sweetie, you have to wait a while."

Carlisle lay behind me, holding me close for the minutes we needed to wait. I cried softly, letting out the tears I'd always held before. That shit hurt like a bitch before you start relaxing. It was hard against my walls and I hated it.

"Shhh… baby, don't cry," I heard him coo, as he ran his fingers through my hair.

I felt vulnerable and sad―my mind going way back, when I wanted all I had at this point, but thought I'd never have Carlisle as more than just a father figure. Suddenly I felt scared. I needed to be reminded I had him as my lover, so I pulled his hand and shoved it down to my cock.

"Caress me, Daddy… distract me from the pain." He stroked my cock softly, kissing my shoulder. His hips started moving against my ass, and I instantly relaxed my anus around the dilator.

"Daddy… it's time… please," I pleaded for him to take the thing out. I couldn't wait to have Carlisle inside of me.  
He pulled himself up, touched my butt cheeks, and slid the thing out of me.

Carlisle's fingers caressed my hips, his lips brushed my shoulder, and the head of his cock pressed against me.  
It felt so good, I could hardly breathe.

Carlisle felt so thick inside me, sliding carefully, until I felt his hip touch my ass.

"Oh, Daddy! You feel so good inside me," I whispered. I heard him gasp behind me.

"You're such a good boy… such a good boy." His voice was tentative—he was trying to play the role but was still a little self conscious.

"No, Daddy, I'm a very naughty boy... I think you should spank me." The idea of bending over and being spanked by Carlisle made me grow even harder.

"Really, what did you do, sweet pea? Tell Daddy what you did." Carlisle's voice was husky, his thrusts became painfully slow as he gave me time to answer him.

"You know that boy I brought for dinner?" I murmured, he nodded against my shoulder, "A few months ago… I… I let him touch me, Daddy." I felt him thrust hard, deep into me at my confession. "I let him suck my cock…"  
Carlisle stopped his movements and waited.

"I fucked his tiny pink ass hole too."

Carlisle slid out of me and I suddenly panicked.

He sat on the bed and pulled me to bend over his knees.

"Boy, what did Daddy tell you about boys you don't know?"

"That I shouldn't let them touch me, Daddy."

"Why did you let that boy touch you, angel?" Carlisle's cock was pulsating against my side; my ass was up in the air as Carlisle rubbed circles on my skin.

It should be weird, given my past, that I would have this kind of fantasy with him. But this was only with him. Since he said he could be my father, I dreamed about being with him this way; being his naughty boy. The wish to be spanked was new, but everything else had been boiling inside me for a really long time.

"He looks so good, Daddy… he begged—" I felt the first slap against my ass. It burned. His hand was so strong.  
Instead of slapping me again, he thrust his finger in my hole and pumped it slowly.

"I know he looks good; it's no excuse, though." He removed his finger and slapped my butt cheek again. I gasped at the strength of the blow. The ache irradiated to the rest of my body. I had never thought that it could be this good.

I wanted more; I needed to provoke him.

"His skin tastes so good, Daddy, so sweet—" Slap! "Aaaahhhhhhhhhh…" Slap!

"Promise you won't do it again, boy." His voice was commanding, harsh.

"But, Daddy… he likes me." Slap! "Fuuuuuuuuck!" Slap!

"I promise, I promise!" I rushed to say.

My ass should be red and raw. It was hot, aching. I loved it.

"You are a naughty, naughty angel. You didn't know what you were doing. I forgive you, baby. Now lie in bed, face down, legs open."

"You're gonna make me feel good, Daddy?"

"Yeah… because you're my sweet pea and I love you."

We didn't exchange any more words. Carlisle thrust into me hard and fast as he knew I liked. His lips were attached to my skin as he bit and kissed me.

He pounded me fiercely, driving me to ecstasy as he hit my prostate repeatedly. I cried loud, so fucking elated for what was happening between us. It was refreshing, liberating, exhilarating.

He came a few moments after me, his seed warming me inside, soothing the burn, the ache I had for him.

When he laid his body on the bed, pulling me to his chest again, he whispered, "I'm not your—"

"No." I already knew what the question was. "Sorry, Carlisle, but you're not our father; not our birth one."  
He sighed but pulled me closer. I don't know if it was a sigh of relief, or something else.

"Does it change anything?" I asked.

"Yes… and no. I love you both the same way. I still feel responsible for taking care of you and making you happy and safe. But I feel better about what we've become. I hoped I wasn't."

"Our mother deceived you."

"I don't care. I've got you, she doesn't." Carlisle kissed me softly.

"EEEEEEEWWWWWWW… you fucked my mom!" I suddenly realized!

His response was so nonchalant it made me laugh.

"I was a child… I didn't know what I was doing."

The End.

* * *

AN/ Hey! How did you like it? Would you let me know?

Thanks for reading it! I know I truly loved writing it.


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